Mexico Solves Immigration Problem; Becomes Part Of China By: mken4zqjau | - In a startling announcement, President Vicente Fox of Mexico revealed that his nation has solved its immigration downside with the U. S. by requesting annexation as a province of China. On account of its new standing, a plentitude of domestic jobs will be available.
He made the shock announcement, not throughout his latest visit to America, but immediately upon returning to Mexico.
Political Cartoonists Are The Court Jesters Of Today By: Art Gib | - The political cartoon is a unique art form that offers valuable insight into the culture and attitudes of the day. Valued by historians and collectors alike, editorial cartoons use satire visually. With the use of caricature drawings and humor, the cartoonist conveys a political message with a specific slant to sway or influence public opinion. By using humor, political cartoons can provide a dissenting voice in a way that is perceived as less threatening to those in power.
How To Locate The Best Political Satire Videos Online By: Marjeen Shulafta | - When one gets overwhelmed with politics, often one can find political satire videos a great release. In response, a number of such videos have been released online, on BluRay, DVD, and VHS over the last several decades. Some of the best of these include videos related to various ballot initiatives, presidential campaigns and other associated political concerns.
Can A Robocop Remake Work Well Enough To Interest A New Audiece By: Cid Snow | - The 1987 film Robocop is not just a cult classic, but a classic film in general. The American film debut of Dutch filmmaker Paul Verhoeven, RoboCop was a scathing satire of 1980s America, while at the same time it was a heart filled character study of a man who is killed and brought back as a machine. The film, in keeping with its satire of excess, was extremely violent and gory, but was done in such a way that it carried a dark humor. The film is now a classic of the science fiction genre. And, ... Tags:Robocop, Robocop remake, satire, film, dark humor, The Wrestler
Fantasy Hockey By: K. S. Brooks | - Playing Fantasy Hockey is not for me. But fantasizing about how I would change things if I ran the NHL is.
Broadcasting:
First of all, there would be a hockey game on television every night. And I dont mean the NHL package pay station. I mean regular free television. Everyone deserves to be able to watch hockey!
I would yank those stupid NHL commercials during which they show a close-up of only one sweaty non-smiling hockey player against a black background ... Tags:NHL, Hockey, satire, hockey humor, NHL playoffs, alex ovechkin
Advice That's Not Always Nice By: Steve Yeich | - For this week's article we have a guest columnist, who may return periodically, assuming I'm not arrested or burned in effigy as a result of the advice she gives out. Please welcome Darnfunnyonline's new advice columnist, "Dear Crabby".
Digital Angst In A Technological World (part 2 Of 3) By: Suzanne Wells | - TIME FOR A BEGINNING...
I settle into the driver's seat and pull the car door so we will have privacy. I draw in a breath and resign myself to figuring out how this guy ticks. I retrieve the hard piece of paper that's been folded so many times it reminds me of one of those paper football triangles we used to play with in high school. You know, the ones where your hands acted as goal posts and you flicked the triangle across the desk with the long "tall man" finger.
Digital Angst In A Technological World (part 1 Of 3) By: Suzanne Wells | - I'm a 48 year old mother of 3 and lately I feel like I've just arrived home from a major battle with the cultural technological machine.
Nearly two years ago I visited Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. I walked to the point, where the Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers meet and conjoin. I was advised that from there on to the Chesapeake Bay, the Shenandoah loses its identity to be consumed by the Potomac. I studied the dark, murky, foreboding river, with bluffs plummeting down into it. Images of a primeval monster lurking just below the surface, like at Loch Ness, came into my mind. Then I ... Tags:potomac, shenandoah, k.s.brooks, satire, farce, comedy, potomadoah
Dear Sir Or Madam, By: Leslie Eskildsen | - This is your realtor writing to you to request a few trifling favors in order to sell your house.Please be advised that, although this are merely requests, it may behoove you to acquiesce to them, for the sake of your homes future sale.
1. When I say that your house will probably sell for such-and-such a price, please believe me.I am not doing this to conclude a long-standing vendetta the gods have against you, nor am I trying to curtail my commission on this sale. ... Tags:home selling, selling real estate, real estate markets, real estate satire, realtors
Are You Wearing A Uniform? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - When I say uniforms, what do you think of - police, soldiers, school children? I wore a uniform in high school and was relieved not to have to compete in fashion, as well as academics. Of course, I claimed dry cleaning made my skirt shorter.
Some say having to dress the same prevents independent growth. Someone worried about growth should get a larger uniform.
Webster\'s Dictionary defines uniform as the distinctive clothes of a particular group. This uniformly c ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Did You Buy It? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Ads are everywhere! We expect them on television and radio. We just don\'t expect them so often.
We\'ve been conditioned to expect them before movies start - whether we bought a ticket or rented a DVD. Now ads are in the movies. It\'s called product placement. Ford will pay to have Brad Pitt drive a Mustang. Pepsi will pay to have Julia Roberts drink a Sprite.
Advertisements appear everywhere from decals on supermarket floors to messages written in the sky. Blimps ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Is Progress Our Most Important Product? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Okay. I admit it. I'm electronically challenged. I have trouble using an electric can opener, an electric pencil sharpener - even an electric toothbrush.
My husband, on the other hand - the hand holding a fistful of extension cords - loves electronic gadgets. It's a guy thing, which I'm sure Freud would have said related somehow to a man's relationship with his penis.
Anyway...when John brought home an answering machine, I was intimidated by its buttons and flashi ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Have You Played Suburban Slot Machines? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Ask people what they do when they go to Las Vegas and they'll say they play slot machines. I play slot machines too, but not only in Las Vegas. There are legal slot machines where I live.
Because all free parking spaces seem to be taken by fire hydrants, I learned how to play suburban slot machines, also known as parking meters.
I remember when the library parking meters took pennies. No more. In fact, some parking meters don't take nickels anymore. The day is co ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Have You Been Nailed? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Pink Gin, Pale Punk Pink, In the Pink - I think naming nail polishes would be a delightfully colorful job - until my boss thought I was having too much fun and suggested I name a polish Pink Slip Pink.
When someone names a polish Miraculous Mauve, I might be able to polish my nails without also polishing my fingertips. Until then, I'll happily pay a manicurist to do my nails.
Unfortunately, manicured nails weren't enough for me. During one of many, mini, mid-life ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Is It A Pursesonal Problem? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - "Don't put all your eggs in one basket". I grew up hearing that advice; but I'd never thought of my purse as a basket - until it was stolen. Then I was a basket - case.
At first I couldn't believe it. My purse had been pilfered! Purloined! Filched! Absconded with! My just-been-to-the-ATM cash was gone. My credit cards were gone. My driver's license was gone. I called the police to report the theft, but I should have called a psychiatrist too. My identity was gone!
Have You Heard My New Word? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - How often have you used the word "unbelievable"? Unbelievable can be used to describe a football play, the price of something, a sunset - just about anything.
But the play, the price and the sunset are real. They're something you've experienced and thus have to be believable. Not to worry. I've invented a word for these kinds of situations.
The word is "hardtobelievable". There is a thin line between unbelievable and hardtobelievable, but it's there.
Would You Rather Have A Boyfriend Or A Dog? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - If you could only have one, which would it be - a boyfriend or a dog? When you think about it, they have several things in common.
Both can do tricks; but when a boyfriend plays dead, he's in front of the television.
A dog can be taught to fetch the newspaper and your slippers. A boyfriend can fetch, but he only fetches beer and the remote control. If you taught him to fetch the newspaper, he'd only bring back the sports section.
Another Blond Joke? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - I'm a blond by choice. Do I have more fun? I'm not sure, but I know I have more salon appointments.
Some days I feel blonder than others. One day I couldn't start my car because the shift wasn't in park. Another day I couldn't find my glasses because they were on top of my head.
Because I'm blond, people love to tell me blond jokes. Have you heard the one about the blond who tried to steal the police car? Because it said 911 on the back she thought it was a Porsch ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Is Health Food Really Healthy? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Hell-th food is what my sons thought about my attempts to have them eat healthier. Of course, children think anything they don't like is health food. When my sons found out liver wasn't healthy and they wouldn't have to eat it again, they became more supportive.
Okay, at first they beefed about not having beef or any other red meat. Then they thought I had gone into a vegetative state when I started serving meatless meals. Nevertheless, I persevered.
Are You A Creature Of Habit? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Do you wash your face before you brush your teeth, put cream in your coffee before sugar, read the entertainment section of the newspaper before the sports?
When someone holds out a hand, we shake it. When someone sneezes, we say bless you. When someone is behind us, we hold the door for him or her.
Supermarket owners know we're creatures of habit. That's why they change the layout in their markets. If we walk past new items, we might buy them. The same philosophy ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Do You Take This Man? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Elopement is a gift a couple gives themselves. My sister had a large wedding, but I'm not sure she enjoyed it. Just as she was relaxing into fun mode, it was time to take pictures, greet guests, have the first dance, cut the cake, etc, etc, etc.
Instead, John and I eloped. No flowers, music, wedding gown or tuxedo. His best man was my man of honor. We were married in a minister's living room. The ceremony was interrupted because the younger son couldn't see and at the end of the ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Where Does Time Go And How Can I Stop It? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - As a child I thought my grandmother was a bit strange because she complained about how fast time went. Fast? It was forever until cookie time. That was then. Now time passes so fast I feel wind burn.
I have to prioritize. I have to learn to say no because no one will say it for me. I have to stop worrying about things that probably won't happen - skip to the worst case scenario, figure out how to handle it and let go.
Is Driving Yourself Crazy A Short Trip? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - New York, New York - if I can drive it there, I'll drive it anywhere - even LA. When I was given the finger by a New York cab driver, I saw it as a one-finger salute for successfully cutting in front of him to make a right turn.
Living in LA, however, has diminished my driving skills. We don't drive on the freeways. We progressively park closer to our destinations.
When I occasionally have the opportunity to actually drive, I tend to go over the speed limit - but ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Do You Know What's In Store? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - I must have missed the "Mission Impossible " episode about getting a husband to help shop for family gifts. In desperation I blurted out that gifts can be found in any store. Before I could grab a fork to eat my words, John turned a misguided moment into a challenge.
He'd name a half dozen different kinds of stores. If I couldn't come up with an acceptable present from each store, his presence wouldn't be required.
Is It A Good Look Or A Stare? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Confession of a frustrated female: because it's been four weeks since I last saw my stylist, I've been plagued by bad hair days. I couldn't be more hair challenged if I were the Easter Bunny on disability.
My hair is short. As soon as the messy look was in style,I thought I'd found hirsute heaven on earth. I didn't realize the messy look required styling. Obviously, shake and go is a shaggy dog story.
Are You A Bad Dreamer? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - I'm a bad dreamer. No, it's not that I'm not good at it. I am. It's that I have bad dreams instead of nightmares.
Nightmares make the impossible seem real - like falling out of an airplane. Of course, there are analysts who say you don't hit the ground in falling dreams unless you're really going to die. How would they know? If you don't survive a falling dream, who's going to tell them?
I don't have to worry about that. My rueful reveries aren't that dramatic. Mi ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Peanuts And Crackerjack? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - When I was six years old, I thought big league baseball was Little League for grown men - a game plumbers, lawyers and firemen played after work for fun. I was too young to understand about agents and contracts, but I understood fun. Fun is going to a ball game.
When the game begins I sit down. When it's over, I stand up. With the exception of jumps for joy and the seventh inning stretch, I don't leave my seat. I have a deep-seated fear of missing an important play because I'm fo ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
What's A Sure Cure For Pigging Out? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Vegetating doesn't make you a vegetarian. I know. I've been a non-flesh eater for over twenty years. I'm not the Noah of nourishment, trying to save the animals. I can't digest animal protein, so it's my way to help my leather-wearing self feel better about what I eat.
Being a necessary life change, however, didn't make it an easy one. I had to bite the bullet with teeth scientists say prove humans are meant to be herbivores and go cold turkey - so to speak.
Do You Feel Foolish? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - I decided the way to avoid feeling foolish on April Fool's Day was to be empowered by knowledge - no joke. Okay, I didn't spend hours researching the subject in the library; but I did google it.
Supposedly this day of duping family and friends started in France in 1564 - which explains why their fries make jokes of our waistlines.
Anyway, France was the first nation to adopt the reformed calendar, but some citizens resisted. They wanted New Year's Day to remain on ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Am I The Only One? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Maybe it's because I'm a blond, but why would drivers go to a gas station that charges four cents more for a gallon of gasoline instead of going to the station across the street?
Four cents times twenty gallons times fifty-two weeks is forty-one dollars and sixty cents. That's like being paid for doing nothing. It's like being on the City Council.
I wonder if City Hall has a thirteenth floor. In buildings that don't have an unlucky thirteenth floor, why don't the ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
For Better Or For Worse? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - I'm married to John Doe. Well, not really. It's just that when I write about him, he'd like to be anonymous. Thankfully, he didn't feel that way when I gave birth to our sons.
My girlfriends envy the fact that my husband helps make the bed, do the laundry and wash the dishes. For some reason they don't understand that he also helps wrinkle the sheets, soil the clothes and dirty the dishes.
My life partner is helpful, not perfect. If he were perfect, he'd give away ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
How Often Do You Gamble? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - A family that has its reunion in Las Vegas obviously believes that a family that gambles together...prays together. On our flight home I realized I don't have the face for poker, the luck for roulette or any idea how to play craps.
Once when playing black jack, I got up the courage to double down on a pair of aces. Unfortunately, the pair belonged to the player to my right.
That particular player and many others seem to have no sense of humor when it comes to gamb ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
I have quite a few birthday and anniversary gifts to buy between now and then. And there'll be a few engagements and weddings - and showers of one type or another. Oh, I forgot about graduation and baptism gifts.
Darn! There's holiday gifting too, but don't panic. The more imagination you put into holiday gifts, the more money you save.
Do You Want To Bet It Hasn't Changed? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - When I wasn't looking, someone put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on Las Vegas. It's no longer family friendly. The money Mom and Dad were spending on wizard hats and amusement park rides wasn't being spent in casinos, which spin, roll and throw much greater profits.
New luxury hotels appear overnight like mushrooms and service staff are cloned to run them. When the city's slogan became "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas", the amusement parks turned into adult fantasy lands. The MGM ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Who Springs Into Cleaning? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - If I ever run for political office, I'll pass a law that requires spring cleaning to be postponed until winter. Why waste days of blooming flowers, invigorating air and sweater-wearing temperatures inside the house - especially inside a dirty house. After being elected by a landslide, I'll spend my spring cleaning up politics.
Each year I know it's time to do the seasonal scrubbing and shining when there's no room left under my sons' beds for them to shove stuff. Another sign it' ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
What's A Television Without Pictures? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - If I had to choose between television and radio, I'd choose the latter - reality over reruns. However, music doesn't sooth my savage beast. It doesn't quiet my thoughts. I listen to talk shows because they occupy my mind by giving me something else to think about.
I enjoy having my thoughts challenged, but I don't want them charred by hotheads from either the far left or far right of the political spectrum. Mark Levine is a LA, hothead host, who is rude, inflexible and..."sin"dic ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
It Might As Well Be Spring - Shouldn't It? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Has spring sprung? According to my calendar, it began at 12:07am GMT - otherwise known as Greenwich Mean Time. I googled GMT and discovered it's seven hours ahead of PDT. Last year this wasn't a problem. We were in Palm Springs, which at its coldest is spring-like.
It's a two to two and a half hour drive - depending on who's driving. In spite of being considerably lighter than my husband, I seem to have a heavier foot. Nevertheless, we know we're almost at our hotel when front ya ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Did Bad Manners Make Your Mother Yell? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Take your elbows off the table, don't talk with food in your mouth, don't run in the house - I thought diamond sorters were less picky than my mother. Then I had children and I understood - almost. I still think sending me to a summer camp that taught manners was a bit extreme.
Telling my sons to masticate with their mouths closed got their attention because it sounded risque, but it took longer to teach them to take what was nearest when food was passed. They'd contort their bod ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Women, Would You Like To Be A Man For A Day? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - Would I like to be a man for a day? Sure. I'd like to walk a mile in my husband's Nikes. It would help me understand the male species. However...if I got lost while walking the mile, I'd ask directions.
Men are physically stronger, faster and have less body fat; but what I envy most is their clothes. I would love to be able to wear a different shirt and have the result be considered a different outfit.
Do You Watch Your Words? By: Knight Pierce Hirst | - If you come across a word you don't know, look it up. My grandmother made that rule to improve her grandchildren's vocabularies and I can still hear her reminding me. Well, looking on the luminous side, if my dictionary is out of reach - or even better - in another room, I can increase my wordage and my exercise at the same time.
Because of the trips to my Webster's - okay, Grandmother - because of the sojourns, I've learned words that are fun to use just because of the way they ... Tags:Humor, Satire, Women, Marriage, Family
Is The Word Christmas Politically Correct? By: marco miranda | - Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein.
A number of commercial establishments in the empire have removed the word Christmas from their greetings in an effort to comply with some absurd application of political correctness.
Imagine the collective surprise of an eager-to- buy public when they are faced by a store-engineered campaign aimed at eliminating the word Christmas from its gre ... Tags:christmas, satire,
One night earlier I'd switched on the news to see civil unrest in Budapest, Hungary. My sister August was just there, I thought. Grand old buildings towered behind burning cars. As many do, I wondered: what is wrong with the world? Some of these countries
