Articles by Toni Schutta on ArticleSnatch.com

Five Scary Trends Parents Must Face

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:48:38 -0500

Depression. Self-centeredness. Early peer pressure. Stressed out kids. Materialism. These are five scary trends that Michele Borba, author of “The BIG Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries” uncovered in researching her book. Many parents, however, are unaware of these five trends which can cause their child problems now and later in life. Toni Schutta, host of the radio show “Real Parents. Real Solutions.” interviewed Borba on Oct. 28 and is sharing the information so more parents can be made aware of these trends and take steps to make changes. Q. Let’s talk about Scary Trend #1: the early peer pressure our kids are facing to participate in harmful activities like sex, drugs, alcohol, cigarette use and shoplifting. Please share some practical steps that parents must take to prepare their kids to face these challenges. A. First, find the “hot spot” problem for your child. In 5th grade it’s shoplifting and a peer pushing a child into it. One in two kids will shoplift. In 4th grade some kids have their first drink and where is that happening? In your home when you’re not home. Sex. **End Summary** Topics: Parenting]]> kids]]> children]]> depression]]> peer pressure]]> stress]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. To receive the free mini-course âThe 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) visit http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/7mistakessignup.html Tune in to âReal Parents. Real Solutionsâ radio show here: www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions

Limiting Presents for an Extra Special Holiday Season

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:24:30 -0500

Why not turn this holiday season upside down? Shift the focus to giving rather than receiving. Spend more time with your kids rather than spending time being frenzied in stores. Help your children develop the gift of generosity. With the country still facing difficult economic times it’s an ideal time to shift the focus of your giving to others. Helping others feels good. Creating hand-made gifts and cards for others feels good. Donating gifts to others feels good. Your child will feel a sense of pride and higher self-esteem if you take the time to provide these opportunities. While some children may be disappointed that you’re limiting the number of gifts they receive this year, ask yourself how many of the gifts that they received last year do they even remember? This year, if you spend an afternoon delivering Meals on Wheels, making presents or having a cookie exchange would this create different, more meaningful memories that also reinforce values you believe are important? Here are 11 tips on helping your child develop the Gift of Generosity: 1. Volunteer. There’s no better way to help children feel good about themselves than to volunteer. **End Summary** Topics: parenting]]> children]]> kids]]> holiday]]> generosity]]> charity]]> don]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course âThe 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) Tune in to âReal Parents. Real Solutionsâ radio show here: www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions

When Parents Disagree

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:10:30 -0400

You’re right in the middle of disciplining your child. Emotions are running hot. You give your child a consequence for the misbehavior and your spouse steps in and disagrees with how you’re handling the situation. You feel criticized, unsupported and upset. The whole thing goes downhill from there. It would be impossible for two parents to agree 100% of the time on how to handle misbehavior, so let’s just agree that you’re going to disagree sometimes. You may have different parenting styles, different hot buttons and different expectations than your spouse. That’s understandable. You were raised by different parents and have absorbed certain values and discipline methods that helped shape who you are. Yet, every day you’re called upon to make decisions regarding your children. So how can the two of you show a united front when it’s necessary, give each other the support that you need and prevent your child from playing you against one another? This will take a little work, but it’ll be worth the effort. **End Summary** Topics: parenting]]> children]]> kids]]> discipline]]> child discipline]]> par]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive a free copy of âThe 7 Worst Mistakes that Parents Make (And How to Avoid Them!). Tune in to âReal Parents. Real Solutionsâ radio show here: www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions

Are You a Discipline Wimp?

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:15:10 -0400

Your child wants ice cream at bedtime. You say “No” but your child persists, whining and bugging you until you finally give in to stop the incessant whining. Your child wants to play with a friend, but you’ve said “No friends until your book report is done.” A friend calls to ask your child to a new movie that’s opened. You let him go to the movie, saying he can do the report that night. Your child doesn’t pick up his/her toys when asked. You end up picking the toys up for your child. You tell your child that s/he is grounded for a week. Do you stick to your guns or cave under the pressure? Why is it so hard to be consistent in discipline? There are obvious answers. You’re tired. You take the path of least resistance. The kids wear you down. But to really get to the bottom of this, you have to dig deeper. In order to make real, significant changes, you have to examine what holds you back in following through with reasonable discipline options. Let’s start with the words “reasonable discipline. **End Summary** Topics: Kids]]> children]]> parenting]]> discipline]]> parenting tips]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course âThe 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) Tune in to âReal Parents. Real Solutionsâ radio show here: www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions

Breakfast Tips for School Success

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:21:42 -0400

Breakfast Tips for School Success School has started and you really want your child to have a great school year. You’ve bought the right school supplies, new outfits and a back pack. Your child is doing his/her homework. But there’s one more thing that can give your child the boost s/he really needs to be successful during the day … a nutritious breakfast. “Children who eat breakfast have been shown to get higher grades and are less likely to be as depressed, anxious, fidgety or irritable by parents and teachers,” said Debby Demory-Luce, a registered dietician with the USDA/ARS Children’s Nutrition Research Center. “They also think faster and more clearly, concentrate better, suffer less fatigue and are less likely to end up in the nurse’s office complaining of tummy aches and dizziness.” (1) Studies show that kids who eat a nutritious breakfast pay closer attention, are more physically active, feel better and have more school success. (2) In particular, protein and the minerals magnesium, iron and zinc along with essential fatty acids have been associated with increased communication among brain cells that promote learning, solving problems, paying attention and controlling emotional reactions. **End Summary** Topics: breakfast tips]]> school breakfast]]> breakfast]]> parenting]]> kids]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> To receive the free mini-course âThe 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/7mistakessignup.html Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach and Licensed Psychologist with 15 years experience helping families find solutions that work. Toni hosts the radio program âReal Parents. Real Solutions.â available at www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions

Helping Your Child with September Transitions

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:21:02 -0400

Transitions happen every day in your childâ€™s world and September, like no other month, is a time of transitions for your child. Starting a new grade. Getting a new teacher. Learning new classroom rules. Adding more homework. No matter what the transition, you can expect an added level of stress as your child adapts to the change. When making the transition to a new grade, your child will be challenged by more rigorous academic challenges, more social demands and more responsibility. Your child will have to follow the rules, take turns, make new friends, learn harder material and try to meet the requirements of a new teacher(s). It takes a lot of energy, focus and control to keep it together all day long at school, so most kids will be tired and youâ€™ll see an increase in temper tantrums, whining and defiance at home. Donâ€™t take it personally! Recognize the stress that your child is under! The best response to stress is to provide empathy and support, help the child gain a sense of control, create rituals that provide predictability and teach your child ways to de-stress. Way to Show Empathy: A. **End Summary** Topics: September transitions]]> academic transitions]]> transitions]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) and find instant answers to 17 common parenting problems. Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach and Licensed Psychologist with 15 years experience helping families find solutions that work. Toni hosts the radio show "Real Parents. Real Solutions."Â every Wed. at http://www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions.

10 Tips for Teaching Kids to Spend Less!

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:04:22 -0400

Cutting back on expenses? Most families are. Asking children to share the burden of spending less is a reasonable course of action. If youâ€™ve lost your job and cuts need to be made, itâ€™s reasonable to explain to children that the family will be making major cutbacks. The key is to reassure them that your family is safe, that youâ€™re in control of the family finances and that their basic needs will be met. Luxury items will be put on hold. Even if no one has lost a job, you can still communicate to your children that your family will be spending less each month, therefore, some of the privileges that they are used to having are being scaled back. In either case, your child is likely to have questions, Will we lose our house?â€ Are we poor now?â€ Why canâ€™t I have these shoes?â€ Reassuring your children that their basic needs will be met is important. Pointing out that your family is a team and as a team each person has a contribution s/he can make on how to spend less money is a great way to approach the issue, too. **End Summary** Topics: cutbacks]]> spending less]]> children]]> kids]]> parenting]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) and a free parenting newsletter.

10 Tips for Back-to-School Success!

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 06:45:47 -0400

Almost all of us dread the end of summer. Kids are reluctant to get back into the routine of early mornings, structured days and the homework that school brings. And many parents are also reluctant to get back into the routine of early mornings, structured days and homework! Whether your child is returning to pre-school, elementary school or middle school, here are 10 tips to help make the transition back to school a success. 1) Scale Back the Bedtime Hour- Itâ€™s easy in the summer to let bedtime slide a little later. About 3 weeks before school begins start scaling back bedtime so that by the end of the third week your child is rising at the same time s/he will have to get up for school. (It takes about 3 weeks for the body to adapt to a new sleep schedule.) If youâ€™ve been putting your child to bed at 9 p.m., the first week put him/her to bed about 15 minutes earlier at 8:45. The next week, make it 8:30 and then the next week 8:15. **End Summary** Topics: Back-to-School Transitions]]> back to school]]> parenting]]> child]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) and a free parenting newsletter.

Are You an Empathic Parent?

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0400

If your child walks in the door with her shoulders drooping and her face forlorn do you say something like You look sad. Come in and tell me what happened.â€ Or if your child is stomping around do you say You seem upset. Your feelings are important to me. Letâ€™s talk.â€ Or do you tell your child to Change your attitude, buddy!â€ Perhaps you feel uncomfortable talking about feelings. You may have grown up in a home where it was better to keep a stiff upper lip. Or if you were upset you were told to go to your room. In other words, your parents probably didnâ€™t teach you how to express your feelings in a healthy way. You were probably taught to stuff your feelings, especially negativeâ€ ones. The decision you need to make is, Do I want to teach my kids to stuff their feelings or do I want to take the time to teach them how to talk about their feelings?â€ There are lots of benefits to being an empathicâ€ parent i.e. **End Summary** Topics: Empathy]]> parenting]]> empathic parent]]> child empathy]]> kids]]> ch]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P., Families First Coaching, Self Growth"'s Official Guide to Parenting. Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) and to preview 17 on-line parenting classes that solve the most common parenting problems.

What to do About Lying

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:00:00 -0400

A new survey shows that the average adult tells four lies a day, or 1,460 lies a year. Is it any wonder that our children tell fibs, too? Yet chances are when your child tells a whopper, it makes you mad. Why do kids lie? Kids lie for lots of reasons. One of the biggest reasons is to avoid punishment. After all, what child likes being grounded or losing privileges? A wonderful mom I work with shared a story about a time her child lied. Her son was in math class taking a big test. When the test was handed out her child also received the answer grid! Her child decided to copy the answers. Later, when the teacher confronted him, he lied and said he had not cheated. Her son was a good student who hadnâ€™t been in trouble before. In fact, he admired his math teacher. He lied not only to try and escape punishment, but also because he was embarrassed and worried what his teacher would think of him. Sometimes kids lie to avoid disappointing adults they care about. Other times, kids will lie to side-step a sticky situation or perhaps to get attention. **End Summary** Topics: lying]]> lies]]> kids]]> children]]> parenting]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. To receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) Visit http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/7mistakessignup.htm

Firm Up Your Discipline with This Helpful Tool!

Tue, 26 May 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Why is it so hard for parents to be consistent when disciplining their children? Many factors come into play. How tired are you?! How persistent is your child? How were you disciplined? What kind of parenting style do you have? Does the other parent agree with you on discipline methods and follow-through? You hate being the heavy.â€ One secret that can be highly effective in overcoming these obstacles that comes from the Create a Discipline Plan that Worksâ€ class is to develop Family Rules and Consequences. If thereâ€™s just one thing you do to improve your discipline practices, this should be it! Follow these step-by-step directions. How To Develop Family Rules and Consequences Step #1- Have a meeting with your spouse/partner/other parent. (If youâ€™re a single parent, meet by yourself.) Discuss family rules that are most important to you. I recommend picking no more than two-three house rules if you have preschoolers and no more than four-five house rules with older children. Step #2- Brainstorm ideas for consequences that are appropriate for the misbehaviors youâ€™ve chosen. **End Summary** Topics: parenting]]> family rules]]> family discipline]]> discipline in ki]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P., Self Growth"'s Official Guide to Parenting. Visit www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!) and also receive details about the "Create a Discipline Plan that Works"Â parenting class.

Stop Annoying Back Talk Now!

Thu, 21 May 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Letâ€™s say you ask your child to do a simple task like feed the dog. The next thing you know, you hear Why do I always have to feed the dog?â€ Or maybe you hear sarcasm and a smart-alecky tone of voice while your child says, You donâ€™t really expect me to do that?â€ Makes you long for the days when children were seen, but not heard, right? Welcome to the world of back talk, your childâ€™s way of expressing disagreement with what youâ€™re requesting. There can be a number of reasons for back talk. Your child may be testing your parental authority. Perhaps your child sees this as an issue of personal identity? Maybe theyâ€™re mimicking something they heard on television? Maybe theyâ€™re simply exerting growing independence? Or maybe they simply donâ€™t feel like doing what youâ€™ve asked! Regardless of the reason, back talk is something that you need to nip in the bud because even the smallest request can become a battle. Also, your child needs to understand that youâ€™re the one in charge. But how do you stop this annoying behavior? First of all, you have to set some ground rules. **End Summary** Topics: back talk]]> back talk]]> back talk in kids]]> parenting]]> children]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. provides parents with practical solutions that work.

Managing Your Child's Anger: 9 Possible Triggers and Solutions for Coping

Wed, 13 May 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Has your child thrown a tantrum lately, thrown toys across the room or hit a sibling? Odds are that s/he has! Childrenâ€™s anger can be exacerbating for parents. After all, many adults still struggle with ealthy expression of anger, so dealing with a childâ€™s anger can be doubly frustrating. When your child gets angry, take a step back and try to figure out what may have triggered the angry outburst? Many times, believe it or not, there may be a good explanation. Listed below are nine common triggers for a childâ€™s anger outbursts and possible solutions to help your child calm down. The solutions may also provide ways to prevent the next meltdown. 1. Time of Day- Many children express more anger between 4:00 and 6:00 p.m., right when you get home from work and want to make dinner. Document what time of day is most troubling for your child. Parenting Advice: Take 15 minutes to sit down with your child and talk over his/her day before you begin making dinner. Give your child something relaxing to do while you make dinner. A healthy snack may also tide them over until dinner. 2. **End Summary** Topics: anger management for children]]> angry child]]> angry child]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. To receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst istakes Parents Make and How to Avoid Them!) visit http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/7mistakessignup.htm

Get Your Child to Listen the First Time!

Fri, 08 May 2009 00:00:00 -0400

Shut the TV off.â€ I said shut the TV off.â€ I said SHUT THE TV OFF!!â€ Does this sound familiar? Do you have to say things three or four times before your child finally complies with your request? Frustrating, isnâ€™t it? Youâ€™re not alone. The biggest complaint that most parents have is that their child doesnâ€™t listen the first time. There are lots of reasons why your child may not be listening the first time. Listed below are five reasons why kids tend to ignore their parentsâ€™ requests and solutions for turning the behavior around. These tips come from the online audio class Get Your Child to Listen the First Time!â€ which gives you 19 options for reducing your stress by getting your kids to listen the first time. Reasons Why Kids Ignore Parents 1. Parent error! Any statement that you make to your kids can either be said in a positive way or a negative way. The positive approach is likely to gain more compliance. Negative statements are more likely to alienate or irritate your child. For instance, you can say: Look what you just did! **End Summary** Topics: Parenting]]> Child]]> Children]]> Kids]]> Discipline]]> Shouting]]> List]]>]]> About the Author: ]]> By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. provides parents with practical solutions that work. Visit http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/7mistakessignup.html to receive the free mini-course "The 7 Worst Mistakes Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them!)"Â The audio class, "Get Your Child to Listen the FIRST Time"Â is available at www.getparentinghelpnow.com