The Three Worst Mistakes You Can Make When Approaching Women

How confident are you in your "approach game" -- your ability to approach a beautiful woman and engage her in a fun conversation that gets her interested in you? If you lack these skills, you're constantly missing out on opportunities to improve your dating and sex life. Learning how to approach women the right way is one of the fastest, most powerful ways to take your lifestyle to a whole new level.

Whenever you see a beautiful woman, you can assume that the last 57 guys who attempted to approach her -- whether it was at the bar, the park, or on the street -- sent all the wrong signals. They immediately made her feel uncomfortable and caused her "force field" to go on high alert. At that point, she's going to look for a reason to bow out of the interaction as soon as possible.

She may indulge you with a few minutes of polite conversation and then blow you off gently ("It's been nice talking to you, but I need to go find my friend..."), or then again she might blow you off right away ("Um, I have a BOYFRIEND"). However she decides to handle it, the bottom line is that this conversation isn't leading anywhere -- certainly not to your bedroom!

Now I want to tell you the three DEADLIEST mistakes that guys make when they try to approach women. I'll also share some tips on how to avoid these mistakes and get the results you want instead.

Deadly Approach Mistake #1: Asking permission to talk to her. When starting an interaction with a woman, never use phrases such as:

"Excuse me, may I know your name?"

"Hi, do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Starting a conversation this way instantly puts you at her mercy. In her eyes, you are a random stranger and you WANT something from her. This is an uncomfortable situation for anyone to be in.

Note: While you might think offering to buy her a drink is a polite gesture, she knows that you will expect something in return: you'll want to monopolize her time for the next ten or twenty minutes. When you offer to buy a drink for a woman you don't even know, you're basically attempting to bribe her into granting you some of her time.

Would a truly confident guy approach women this way? Not a chance. There's a correct point in the interaction to buy a girl a drink, and a clever way of doing it...and it's certainly not in the first 30 seconds.

One of the rules of effective conversation is for you to stay in control at all times. It's all about you staying in the "power position" and controlling the flow of the conversation -- moving it towards cool, interesting topics that make you look good, and away from areas that will slow down the momentum. The key is to do this subtly. You can learn how to "invisibly" guide the conversation so that you make her laugh, experience positive emotions, and share personal details (such as her passions, ambitions and talents) that she'd normally never share with a guy she only met a few minutes ago.

This is when women begin to feel attraction, and you're on your way to success.

The first key to maintaining this sense of power and control is NOT starting the conversation in a weak, uncertain manner. And truly, one of the weakest possible ways to start a conversation is to ask permission to speak to her. Never ask permision. Assume that she'll be totally interested in meeting you.

Deadly Approach Mistake #2: Not assuming rapport. When two people have "rapport" it means they're comfortable with each other and have stuff in common. They vibe with each other in the manner of old friends -- joking around, having fun, talking about topics of common interest instead of the conversation sounding like a job interview.

When a guy with weak approach game starts conversing with a woman, the "conversation" seems stiff and formal and usually consists of questions: "So what's your name?" "Are you from around here?" "So what do you do for work?" Etc. He could be having this same conversation with his dentist!

Now observe a guy who is super-confident around women. He will assume rapport. He doesn't bother with the boring "getting to know you" questions. From the very beginning, this guy is joking around with the girl, teasing her playfully, asking fun questions and telling little stories that make her laugh, smile and feel interest and curiosity.

He makes her feel invested in the conversation, and she'll want to show that she can keep up with him. Even in the first few minutes he's showing her that he's a fun, dynamic, interesting guy who leads an attractive lifestyle.

Deadly Approach Mistake #3: Not having a conversational game plan and a closing strategy. Most guys put way too much emphasis on what to say first (or how to "open" her). Actually, what you follow up with is far more important -- how you transition into the conversation and get it flowing. From there, you'll want to use techniques of mine such as Hypotheticals, Advanced Cold Reads, and Hooks & Ladders (my method for making sure the conversation NEVER runs out of steam).

It's really about more than learning how to approach women -- you've also got to know how to move the conversation in the right direction so that you stimulate her "attraction switches." For example, building comfort is a crucial early step. No woman is going to want to give you her phone number (much less sleep with you that night) if you haven't made her feel comfortable with you. This is why learning the right comfort-building techniques is so important.

When comfort has been established, you'll then need to start teasing and "challenging" her (but in a playful, fun manner). This is the stage where you frame yourself as a high-value man who is "hard to get." You're going to make her work for your attention and positive feedback, and make her want to measure up to YOUR standards. (This is the complete opposite of how most guys interact with women, as they awkwardly try to demonstrate that they're up to HER standards.)

Next comes Escalation (both verbal and physical), and finally there is The Close.. Depending on the circumstances, this could mean scoring her phone number (and having her WANT to see you again soon, rather than blowing off your calls), or taking her home and nailing her that evening. So few guys understand how to "close" successfully.

Knowing exactly how to approach women, and following the right sequence of steps, will make a huge difference in your success rate. Instead of meeting women and never seeing them again, you'll be bringing them home for sex and lining up more dates than you'll have time for! Seriously, I'm talking about you enjoying the type of sex life that most guys can only dream about -- and leading a lifestyle that is filled with hot girls.

It means that literally anytime you leave your home -- whether it's to run errands, or to hit a bar or nightclub with your friends -- you'll look for opportunities to approach women and have fun interactions, instead of this being something you shy away from, or stress out over.