Over 14,000 women and men in the United States make the agonizing parenting decision to place their children for adoption, to provide their children with the hope of a better future. Birthmothers range from teenagers, single parents or married couples of all ages with limited financial resources, women with extreme personal difficulties, women from conservative communities against out-of-wedlock pregnancies, or victims of rape. Unlike the secrecy of the past, infant adoptions provide more options for expectant parents. Although expectant parents have many questions, they are many adoption centers that can answer their questions and give them the respect and rights they deserve while they consider their decision.
Birthmothers have the option to seek confidential adoption information from adoption centers. An adoption center can provide free pregnancy counseling, presenting them with the short- and long-term outcomes of parenting versus adoption placement. The counseling can include letters from other expectant parents, as well as adoptive families. Proper counseling will not pressure them into choosing adoption, but give them the information they need to make an informed decision. Birthmothers should also be given the right to change their mind about any verbal promise or written agreement made before the birth of the baby.
Adoption centers can also assist with medical, housing, and living needs. These services depend on the center, but vary from helping the birthmother move, to free housing, or all services paid by the adoptive parents. Living at an adoption center can provide constant care throughout the pregnancy, secrecy, and transportation services when needed.
Unlike the stereotypes of the past, expectant mothers can choose an open or closed adoption. They have the right to choose the adoptive family and the level of communication with them. An open adoption allows the birth parents to meet the adoptive family and continue to have ongoing communication (pictures and letters) from them and their child after the birth. In a closed adoption the birth family and the adoptive family do not share any identifying information about themselves, and do not communicate with each other, either before or after the placement of the child. The adoption files will be sealed after the adoption, and typically are never made available to the adopted child.
Ninety percent or more of the women who place their children for adoption have met the adoptive parents of their children. Almost all of the remaining birth mothers chose the adoptive parents through profiles. Contrary to the stereotypes, almost no women choosing adoption today seek anonymity or express a desire for no ongoing information or contact. Studies show that choosing the adoptive family and having ongoing contact with them results in lower levels of grief and greater peace of mind for the birthmother about her adoption decision. Birthmothers who placed their children with the understanding that they would have ongoing information, but had the communication severed have the highest grief levels. Thus, it is important to choose the level of openness and choose an adoption center and family that honors your decision.
Today birthmothers can receive independent legal counsel to give them rights to their children. Rather than losing all connection after placing their child with an adoptive family, birthmothers can learn their legal rights so they have a safe legal process.
Over one million women each year discover an unplanned pregnancy. Over two million couples each year find they are infertile.
Adoption is a personal choice that courageous birthmothers have the right to consider and have control over their deicision.
