The 7 Rules For Gaining Fat... Fast!

So, youve decided to give up.

Youre fed up of all the diets that have promised you great results yet left you hungry, tired, irritable and weak.

Youre fed up of all the wonder workouts that have promised you amazing strength, fitness and flexibility in just minutes a day but that have left you feeling tired, sore, stiff and, truth be told, no firmer or less flabby than you were before.

But most of all, youre fed up of all those fitness experts out there who tell you how easy it is, how little time it takes and how amazing youre going to look if you follow THEIR program (ONLY theirs, mind you, no-one elses will even come near to what theyre offering).

So youre quitting.

Youre giving up the diet and exercise thing and have decided that youll just go with the flow and see what happens to your body when the experts arent poking their noses into your business and ramming their idea of healthy down your throat.

What a great idea!

No more eat this or dont eat that, no more dont forget your cardio or weights is better.

In fact, no more interference of any kind from the countless do-gooders who seem to think that its ok for them to advise, nag and bully you into following all kinds of fat loss and fitness advice as long as its theirs.

Good on you!

But before you take the quitters route that most people take, doesnt it make sense to quit in the right way?

Sure it does!

Theres a science to quitting too yknow and Im just the person to share it with you : )

So heres the deal. If you want to quit and quit fast, if you want to pack on pound after pound of soft, warm, figure-blurring bodyfat then youve got to have a strategy.

Youve got to have a plan.

MY plan is easy, straightforward and six-year-old-simple to follow and consists of just seven rules that, if you follow them, will guarantee you the maximum fat gain in the shortest time frame.

It consists of just 7 rules

Rule one: Only eat processed foods

If youre truly serious about packing on some serious fat-pounds, youll follow this rule faithfully.

Without a doubt, processed foods are the No.1 friend to fat due to their denatured, sugar-loaded and mostly synthetic nature.

With most of the vitamins and minerals removed from processed foods, the highly calorific and mostly indigestible remain, creating a massive storehouse of both calories and toxins for you to bury deep within your already overloaded fatty tissues.

Better still, the toxic nature of most processed foods mean that youll gain not only fat but a whole lot of subcutaneous water too as your body tries to dilute the impact of all the extra toxins youre holding onto, meaning that youll put on extra scale weight and look soft and squidgy into the bargain.

Great stuff!

Rule two: Cram in as many starchy carbs as you can

Starchy carbs eaten in isolation or, better yet, with sugary carbs are an absolutely fantastic way to accelerate the battle of the bulge and gain both fat and body weight at a more rapid pace.

Eating carbohydrates in isolation allows your hormones to engage in a free-running form of guerrilla warfare where insulin levels raise through the roof and, in doing so, command your body to store fat.

A word of warning though; whatever you do, dont mix your starches with fats or proteins. This reduces both the amount and the effect of all that lovely insulin and will definitely scupper your chances at serious fat gain.

Rule Three: Get to bed as late as you can

If rapid fat gain is your greatest desire, then make sure that you get to bed as late as you possibly can, with the ideal scenario being that you stay up so late every night that you fall asleep on the sofa.

Doing This will ensure a steady supply of the stress hormone cortisol into your bloodstream to help you break down all that energy-consuming lean muscle tissue thats slowing down your fat gain.

Just dont ruin the effect by getting to bed by 10:30 or youll find that the cortisol levels drop far too low to cannibalise your muscle and you may even find that you lose all your precious fat!

Rule four: Steer clear of water

Drink too much water and youll not only do away with your bodys false food cravings (meaning that you wont eat unnecessarily), but youll also create a freer flowing route for the digestion of the foods youve eaten.

Obviously, this is a bad thing as it means you wont keep undigested foods in your stomach long enough for them to go putrid and add to the overall toxic load on your system.

Remember, anything that speeds up your metabolism is bad!

Instead, use coffee, tea and soda to 'mix up' your metabolism and increase toxicity.

Rule five: Dont forget the alcohol!

Alcohol is just about as pure a sugar source as you can get and is absolutely jam-packed with calories that contribute nothing to the function of your body.

Better still, alcohol adds to your toxic load meaning that youll hold a large amount of water too!

Rule Six Use the microwave for all of your cooking

Microwaves are great!

During the heating process they vibrate the molecules of your food so fast that they actually change their structure, meaning that when you eat nuked food, your body has no idea about how to cope with them, let alone extract nutrition from them.

This is fantastic for your fat gain quest because youll be adding to your toxic load AND creating a surplus of non-nutritional calories, meaning that youll get hungry again very soon after eating and have another opportunity to stock up on calories.

Rule Seven: Avoid all unnecessary movement

Theres no getting away from it, movement of any kind costs you valuable calorie-energy and robs you of the vital fat building stores thatll be necessary for your quest.

Stay as still as you can to conserve as much energy as possible and commit to using as many labour-saving devices as you can find. Things like remote controls, stair lifts, escalators etc all serve a valuable role in the creation of your fat stores, so use them.

If you are forced to move, then whatever you do, dont engage in any form of activity that might lead to an increase in strength or muscle mass as thisll speed up your metabolism and rob you of calories. Instead, engage in steady-state, slow aerobic activities as these are energy efficient and have the added benefit of increasing cortisol and, in doing so, breaking down that calorie-robbing muscle tissue.

So thats it!

Your seven rules that, if followed, will absolutely guarantee that you pack on fat faster than youd ever believe possible and allow you to thumb your nose and poke your tongue out at every personal trainer or diet guru who ever promised you a rapid result from following their plans.

Follow just one or two of them for even a short time and youll see a rapid softening of the waistline and an appreciable gain in scale-weight. Follow them all and youll gain so much weight that youll be stunned by the reflection staring back at you within a month.

Give it a go!

Note: If youre one of those wierdos who feel that youd like to take the extreme approach of actually losing bodyfat then just reverse the rules above to see equally rapid fat loss I dont know why youd want to though!


Copyright (c) 2007 Dax Moy