Taking Care Of You- A Special Needs Mom's Perspective

If you are like me, you have been given the blessing of all blessings, being trusted to mother a special needs child. Seven years ago I got my blessing, and it has changed my life forever! My daughter is one of the rare girls that has been found to have MECP2 Duplication Syndrome. It is a severe neurological disorder causing mental retardation, hypotonia, gastrointestinal issues, autistic features and more. As we started to learn that our child was born with special needs, I hovered over her, gave her all my attention, and basically became her everything. There was one special person that I left out though, me.
It may sound selfish when you first read that. Of course I want to treat the blessing she is with the utmost respect and love. I want to give her everything, but I can't BE her everything. No human person is capable of doing that. I've let my weight get out of control, I'm tired all the time, and there are times I get rather cranky...even with her. That's not who I want to be. Somewhere along the way I forgot that to take care of someone else I had to be taken care of, and there's no one to do that but me.
So what do I mean exactly? Be selfish and ignore your kid? No, not at all. I mean find a way to exercise, eat right, get a full nights rest, and take some time for yourself. You're going to need some good planning and possibly some help to do these things. But, its imperative that you do. How can you accomplish this? Let's start with exercise.
To make exercise a priority, you need to find something you like and find fun. I like to take walks outside, but I don't always find it fun (especially when it's exercise. When its just to get fresh air I love it.) The only exercise I really find fun are Zumba classes. Zumba is Latin dance with other dance flavors mixed in. So, I found a place that offers Zumba at an affordable price and signed up. Maybe you'd like that too, or step classes, or just taking a walk outside. The thing you need to commit to is getting out of the house to do your exercise and having someone else watch your child. Get your husband on board, or if you're single get a friend, neighbor, or grandparents to help you with this two to three times a week. You NEED to get out of the house on your own for a bit, and it's okay to do so and not feel guilty. Remember too, that many families of special needs kids get respit care. If you don't get this service, find out if you're eligible. This would be a good way to get out alone and get your exercise. If you HAVE to take your child, perhaps strolling him or her in the wheelchair or stroller would be the way to go. Just make a commitment, and stick to it. It's for your health, and your child needs you to stay healthy.
Eating right is another difficult task when you have any children, but especially special needs kids. I find myself shoving whatever I can get into my mouth as quickly as I can at times so I can get done and be back available to both my kids. This is not a good way to take care of yourself, believe me. Its easy to put on weight, feel bad about yourself, and get depressed. The last thing your special needs child needs is a depressed mom. So what an we do? Find an eating program you like and stick to it. Take a break for maybe one meal or special snack per week. We don't want to lose too much at once. One to two pounds a week is good. Now, for what I need to lose at one pound a week, it will take me a year to lose it all. But think about it, if you think back to this same month last year...doesn't it seem like it was just yesterday? The time will go by fast, and if we lose it slower, we'll be more likely to keep it off. The program I follow is one where I have to cook a lot so I make casseroles and soups that make up big and I can reheat through the week to save me time.
Finally, take time for yourself. Take an hour and read a book, start a blog, join a wine tasting club...whatever. Do at least one thing just for you. I like to read in the tub. So I relax in a warm bath with a good book often. It's very relaxing and it helps to de-stress and recharge me. It's not selfish to take one hour for just yourself a day. Again, you'll need help for this. If you're single maybe you can put your child to bed thirty minutes earlier and take the hour right after they go to bed. You can make it work. Just remember, if you're not taken care of, you can't take care of anyone else. So follow these steps and remember why you are important too!