Psychological articles dealing with codependency issues point out that a co-dependents obsessive behavior towards the dependent family member or friend can be very intrusive. The co-dependent person might care so much that it becomes a psychological obsession, making the other person feel their boundaries are being violated and even experience the perception of feeling emotionally assaulted. Such a relationship is usually seriously unhealthy to all parties involved.
First, one must be aware of co-dependence symptoms in order to combat the disorder. A co-dependent, while appearing too close to another person is actually avoiding true intimacy. While boasting of personal perfection, the reality is that the co-dependent is really distrustful, hyper-vigilant, and strives to obsessively control anothers behavior at the psychological expense of the other person; even subjecting his dependent person to debilitating physical or emotional abuse in order to maintain the status quo and perpetuate the unhealthy mutual dependency. Most extreme cases of co-dependence are accompanied by depression; as the relationship is mutually destructive and frustrating.
Signs of Co-dependency
The thoughts and feelings of a co-dependence lead to destructive behavior that can cause pain not only to the co-dependent but to others as well. These behavioral patterns can harm otherwise healthy relationships and make people anxious, angry and unhappy. Psychological articles stress that only we can change our behavior; others simply cannot!
Co-dependents act in emotionally destructive ways in spite of their possible good intentions, exhibiting the following characteristics:
* Co-dependents may consider themselves responsible for other peoples needs, thoughts, feelings, behavior, choices, well-being and destiny.
* If their subject is facing some problem the co-dependent will become anxious, feel pity and guilt.
* Co-dependents have an uncontrollable urge to help the subject of their co-dependency to resolve any problem; offering unasked for advice or giving numerous quick suggestions.
* They are likely to express anger when their help proves ineffective.
* They will anticipate others needs and will wonder why others dont do the same for them.
* They will do more than what is reasonably expected or required and will even do work which other people can comfortably do for themselves.
* They will feel safe when giving to others and unsafe when others give to them.
* They will try to please others at the expense of their own pleasure.
* They will not know what they need or want and even if they do know, will convince themselves that personal needs are not as important as serving the needs of others.
* They will feel victimized, as they are attracted to needy people and feel sad over all they have given to another while others have not given to them.
* They will feel very bored and worthless if they do not have a problem to solve or someone needy to help.
* They will over-commit themselves, give up their routine to help someone else, and then feel resentful for doing so.
While frequently denying their dysfunctional histories, psychological articles tell us that co-dependents come from troubled families of origin and harbor much resentment. Feelings of malcontent are manifested in the co-dependents typically guarded and defensive behaviors interspersed with episodes of easily becoming angered and lashing out in righteous railings against their subject of dependence and the world in general. Although co-dependents feel they are special and different, they nonetheless appear to adopt a martyr-like stance and will reject compliments. They feel unappreciated and victimized. They are afraid of rejection and making mistakes. They are very pessimistic, and they very much need therapeutic support and psychological help to break the destructive patterns.
Co-dependency can ruin lives. We at
boomeryearbook.com urge you to recognize the symptoms and if you find you are suffering from this debilitating disorder, to seek help.
