Surviving The Heartbreak Of Your Loved One's Affair

The nightmare that now is your reality, still feels somehow unreal. Lost and directionless in a netherworld of doubt and shadows. Where reality,fantasy and uncertainty all melt together. Leaving you with no support No truth No map. And worst of all,no will to survive.

But you must survive. The debiliating agony of your loved one's affair is something you must leave where it belongs. In the past. In this column, I'll tell you what you need to do to get out of your twilight zone of misery and go forward into the nourishing sunlight of hope.

The main positive step is to throw off the coat of "victim conciousness."Yes, you've suffered horrible pain. Agony unimaginable. Sleepless nights. Zombie days. But as horrible as they were....they're in the past.

And that's where they need to stay. If you continue to drag them with you into the future,you won't have a future. Just a descent futher and further into "emotional quicksand" that you create.

It's also essential for you to re-affirm the obvious: The Affair wasn't your choice. So why should you shoulder the blame? It was your partner who decided to cross over to the other side of the road to see if "the grass was greener." Not you. You're not responsible for that, any more than you could be responsible for a plane crash just because you were in the airport!

Following on, the next move forward in recovering your mental clarity and well being is to take responsibility for your own life. You need to leave your old life where it belongs - in the past, and "be here now." Concentrating on your life in the present. Now is the time to focus on you. On what you need. What you want.

It goes without saying it will be difficult. Of course you will have second thoughts and misgivings. But it is your interior strength that must be restored if you're to make progress healing yourself. And to regain that strength you can't waste your internal forces dragging around the remorseful chains of the painful days gone by.

Your internal energy needs to be focused on taking back your self-respect. Naturally it will be a formidable challenge coming to grips with the fallout of the negative influence of your partner's unfaithfulness.

But if you can't be your own best champion, how can you expect anyone else to cheer you on? If you're constantly running yourself down,who's going to want to pull you up? Remember self-respect, like charity, begins at home!

Last but not least accept that your road back to self-respect won't be a walk in the park. But by taking positivesteps you will over time weaken the power of the negative affair images.

There's no time like the present to take action and focus your personal power on creating those positive results.Because their effect is progressive. And increases exponentially in relation to your efforts.

If you follow these steps sincerely and consistently,I have every confidence you will survive the agony of your partner's affair.