Suffering From Verbal Abuse? Stop Suffering: 12 Minutes Each Night Can Change Your Life!

Being in a relationship where verbal abuse occurs is, literally, Hell! It often leads to physical violence and has a lifelong effect on your kids.

Before the situation escalates to catastrophic levels, you must seek professional help, whether from a private practitioner or non-profit agency! Verbal abuse is dangerous, destructive and dysfunctional.

When verbal abuse is frequent in a relationship, it is a clear sign to get help or get out. Unfortunately, many partners escape into denial or minimization by minimizing it.

They also minimize its lifelong ramifications as something that was not really all that important because it occurred in the heat of the moment.

However, any professional with integrity will tell you the truth. And that is that physical or verbal abuse should never be tolerated; the sooner you seek professional help or end the relationship, the better off you and your kids will be.

Even though you may try to push your awareness of the abuse under the rug, its presence is likely to lead to your self-esteem being badly fractured and your self-confidence being totally destroyed. Tip: Does your relationship bring the best out in you and your partner? If so, it is probably healthy.

On the other hand, if verbal abuse occurs, it is a stark indicator that your relationship is seriously dysfunctional. Important: Learn to recognize the following symptoms of abuse because being in denial only worsens your situation.

Also, if your partner believes he can verbally abuse you with no repercussions, the odds are greater that this will lead to domestic violence later. Please Note: Below are symptoms of verbal abuse that should trigger your immediate seeking of help or your termination of the relationship.

1. You are unable to have an open conversation with your partner without fear that a major argument will erupt.

2. Your partner insults, embarrasses and insults you.

3. Your partner isolates you and does not let you mingle with people freely.

4. Your partner sometimes runs up large debts and then expects you to accept it without making a fuss.

5. Your partner imposes restrictions on you and becomes very critical if you do not abide by them.

6. Your relationship is very unpredictable, alternating from being distant and cold to being unbelievably close.

7. You feel smothered by your partner; you fail to have time for yourself.

8. Your partner throws things or slams doors or drawers when you are arguing.

9. Last but not least: You feel on edge, intimidated or fearful of your partner.

There are various degrees of verbal abuse. Some may be direct, uncensored and graphic. Other forms can be more veiled and subtle.

For example, sarcasm and threats are veiled forms and can be used to beat you down. Caution: Partners who are initially suspicious and controlling often resort to serious abuse later.

Unfortunately, sometimes those with low self-esteem subconsciously enter relationships that presented hints that becoming abusive was possible; if this describes you, do you know how to deal with it, now that it has happened?

What should you do?

I have found the following 12 minute solutions to be crucial to success. The first is getting professional help and this usually involves:

1. Individual counseling or psychotherapy. The purpose being to understand yourself and your situation clearer.

You get objective feedback, support and guidance from a professional with experience in treating abuse in relationships. At the end of each visit, summarize what you learned in a journal and spend 12 minutes each day studying and practicing what you learned.

2. Marriage counseling. You and your partner learn how to communicate better and problem-solve effectively. Abusive communication and anger management versus healthy dialogue and interaction is addressed.

You and your partner, together, get feedback, support and guidance from a professional experienced in treating abuse. At the end of each visit, you both summarize what you learned in a journal and spend 12 minutes each day studying and practicing what you learned.

3. Self-therapy kits (STKs), articles and books -If going to counseling seems initially like too big a step, reading articles and books, attending seminars and using self-therapy kits (STKs) can also help. STKs are self-help programs that tutor you on how to deal with abusive behavior.

As opposed to books and articles, they teach these skills using a multimedia format: CDs, DVDs, MP3s, e-books, workbooks, audios, videos etc. Get easy-to-understand tutoring on how to respond assertively to your partner by using an STK for 12 minutes each evening.

Caveat: If your safety is in danger your first step should be personally consulting with a professional! If nothing is working to improve your partner's behavior and you are even beginning to fear for your physical safety, it is simply time to walk away.