Single Parents Dating: When, Where And How To Introduce Your Kids To Your Partner

Being in any form of relationship can be a slow process not for yourself, but for your kids. Although online dating for parents has helped speed up the process for you to look for a new partner, it can't assure that your kids' acceptance would be sped up as well.

It is rare for children to cope with their single parents being in a new relationship. You'd need to assure them that your love, care, and commitment to them would not change, even with your new, serious partner being in the picture. Once they begin to accept it, then you'd also want to start thinking about the ways on how you would make the initial introductions. You can't just spring your new date on your kids. You have to ease them into your children's lives, so as to avoid them getting rejected or for your kids to feel apprehensive or even contempt towards your new partner.

So when should the introduction happen? Well, Dr. Peter Sheras, a clinical psychologist from the University of Virginia, recommends that you introduce your children to your new beau a few months after you've declared your relationship. This declaration has to be in a form of a serious talk with your kids. Lay it to them straight and tell them about the person that you are dating. Allow them to understand that you two are committed to each other, but assure them that though you are dating someone, your love for them would stay the same.

After preparing them for the introduction, next, you'd have to plan on the activity where the introduction would take place. Plan something short and informal. The worst thing that you can do is to plan a long, stressful ordeal that would not facilitate good relationships with the two parties being introduced and lengthy conversations are needed.

So dinner at a restaurant where it takes time to prepare the food and eat it, is not recommended.

What activities are recommended for first-time introductions? Again, keep it short and informal, where everyone would get the chance to get to know each other better. So when you plan for an activity for the initial introduction, you have to make sure that you go through these three steps:

1. Plan something fun to do;

2. Allow everyone to be themselves, including your own self; and

3. Make sure to include your kids in the activity that all of you can do all together.

Plan a lunch date at your favorite pizza place and order your kids' favorite flavors. This would be a treat to the kids, and they won't see it as an ordeal that they would have to go through, but as something fun that they can enjoy. You can also have other activities that don't require too much time and one that you know your kids can enjoy. The thing here is that you want to create an atmosphere that's amiable to both parties. You want to create an atmosphere that facilitates the "getting to know you" purpose of the meeting, but also one where they feel comfortable enough to be themselves.

As a parent, you'd want to re-assure your kids that though you have a new person in your life, it doesn't mean that your unconditional love for them would be lessened or your time for them would be gone. Assure them that no matter what happens, you'd always be there to love and care for them. In time, they'd come to accept that having another person in your life, and relatively in their lives too, is not about having someone else that may take away your affections, but is about including someone else in your circle of love, and for you to widen your family.