Single Parenting - How To Get Your Children To Stop Whining

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Being a single parent can be a very tough job. You may be next to the end of your rope on most days. Then, you hear a whining child voice ask for something, and that rope is hanging on by a thread now. How can you get your child to quit whining?

First, notice the times that your child gets whiney. Is she hungry or tired? Did you just say no to a request? Or, maybe you are busy with something else, and the behavior is to get your attention.

When you hear whining, stay calm and neutral. If you get upset, your child may keep doing the behavior to see your response. Ask your child to speak in a normal tone, or you can say "I can't hear you unless you speak in your real voice." If your child persists, state the limit such as no candy at the store now but you can have a healthy snack (say one that the child likes) when we get home. Still hear whining? Tell your child that there will now be no healthy snack, either, if the tone of voice continues to be used.

The key is to stick to your decisions. If you say your child cannot have something, then absolutely do not give in no matter how much your child objects. You may have to physically remove your child from the situation if he or she gets out of hand. Yes, you many be greatly inconvenienced by leaving a cart of groceries behind while you deal with your child, but in the long term, he or she will learn that you mean what you say and no amount of whining or fit-throwing will change your mind.

Another tactic is to avoid situations that trigger the behavior. If you know your child gets whiney when tired, don't try to fit in one last errand before taking your child home. Know your child's limits and respect them even when it's an inconvenience for you.

When an older child whines for something, encourage him or her to come up with ways to fix the problem. If you immediately start trying to provide solutions, your child will continue with the behavior to keep you engaged and thinking for him instead of doing the work himself.

Whining can sometimes be a coping mechanism when a child's life feels out of control. Your recent divorce or bullying issues at school could be at fault. If this is the case, be sure to spend lots of time individually with the child to help make him or her feel secure. Counseling may also be helpful if the issue doesn't seem to be resolving.

Get the service of other people who are around the child often such as a child care provider, grandparent or the other parent. Let them know how you are addressing the issue, and request that they take the same tactic. Consistency between the various environments that the child frequents is very helpful in stopping unwanted behaviors as quickly as possible.

By using the above measures, you should be able to stop the whining and save your sanity.

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