Sex, Lies and the Secret Truth About Marketing

It doesn’t matter which business you’re in; what service or product you’re sellingâ€"if you want to net six or seven figures every year, drive your competition into bankruptcy and tears, be voted best marketer of the year and be awarded the Noble Peace Prize and an Oscarâ€"you’ve got to be absolutely great in bed!

(And, yes, there’s amble evidence that Al Gore can heat up a mattress far faster than Arctic ice can melt.)

So learn the Kama Sutra inside and out. Because every day, every night, when you jump into the sack with your partner, you cannot be shy about touching her. You cannot be wishy washy. You cannot be embarrassed. And you cannot be slam, bam and quick about it.

(Ed.Note: Though the guiding principles discussed here apply equally to men and women, I, as a writer, would find it difficult to establish a satisfying rhythm if I were to write about diving under the sheets with a guy. So ladies, your indulgence would be appreciated.)

Where was I? Ah, yes...

You’ve got to hold her, embrace her. You’ve got to give her what she’s breathing fast and heavy for, what she’s aching, pinning, clawing forâ€"you’ve got to give her huge, whopping, heaving, yearning, back-arching desire!

Hey! Raw, unbridled sex is not what I’m talking about here! I’m talking about how to be a successful marketer.

And the bed and mattress I’m talking about is your market. And your partner is not your wife, husband or loverâ€"it’s your customer.

But, if you insist...

Let’s Talk About Sex
(Though strictly as a marketing metaphor)

So if you’re easily offended, do not read the next sentence.

Now, imagine going to bed with someone you don’t like, who you can barely tolerate, someone you don’t want to talk to or be withâ€"but you sleep with them anywayâ€"and only for the money.

What does that make you? Yeah, exactly.

Yet, even within that business sector, the business ownerâ€� who has a big and generous heart for her clientele, who’s willing to at least act as if she’s making love to them, well, she’s going to fare far better than her competitionâ€"who looks at her customers as just another Johnâ€�.

Make Love to Themâ€"Don’t Screw Them!

If you truly care about your lovers (remember: we’re talking business here, so you definitely need to have more than one lover) and you wish to have a quality relationship with them, then their needs and concerns, their pains and deprivations will and must touch youâ€"and drive you to create a solution (read: product or service) that will aid and benefit them.

And if you do this, well then, they’ll love you forever (read: buy from you, and be loyal to you and recommend you).

Why? Because your efforts are a labor of loveâ€"and it’ll show, and it will be reciprocated. Or, as the immortal Mae West would say, Hmn, big boy, is that a pistol in your pocket... or are you just happy to see me...?â€�

On the other hand, by not caring about or respecting your lovers, your motivation is certainly exploitation and self-gratification.

And therefore you’ll foolishly offer them only what you believe they should have or wantâ€"that which will please and benefit you moreâ€"and them far less, if at all.

And all your relationships will then be shallow and short-lived. And your life will be filled with a tiring succession of unsatisfying first dates (and they’ll all be ugly, dumb, poorâ€"and fat!)

Of course, if you’re an artful and cunning low-life liar, you might succeed in stringing a few gullible dates along for awhile longer. But, in the end, even the ugly, dumb and poor ones will resent your empty promises, and even the fat ones will quickly abandon you for a far more caring, considerate, compassionate and entrepreneurial lover. Because he’ll make them feel beautiful, smart, richâ€"and skinny! (Remember: you’re replaceable. Do a Google search and see for yourself.)

What’s Sex Without Passion?

Boring. Mechanical. Unsatisfying. Unconvincing. And it won’t get you any more nooky.

Passion is what ka-chings� the cash register on both sides of the bed. (Hey, this is a sex-ed class; I’m allowed to co-mingle my metaphors.)

Passion is uncontainable, infectious, firm, strong and untiring. Romeo had it. Valentino had it, Gable, Harlow and Monroe had it. Depp and Theron, Pitt and Jolie have it now. Pee Wee Herman never did and never will.

Passion is the secret to every lover’s memorable night’s success.

Passion is honest and trueâ€"it can’t be faked! It comes from a belief deep within. Some may mimic its sounds and appearanceâ€"but such artifice will always ring hollow, cold and shrill.

Real passion leaves no doubt. It’s hot. It’s seductive and inviting. You don’t have to sell it, though you may have to contain it. It’ll be in your eyes, in your touch, in your breath and in every move you make.

Your passion will fire desire. It will curl your lover’s toes, and send cascading rivers of shimmering delight up and down her spine, from the nape of her neck down to her point of no return. And she’ll never leave your bed.

Whoa! How Do You Do That?

Okay, for the climax, we’re abandoning all metaphors.

Bottom line: To be a successful marketerâ€"a high six or seven figure income marketerâ€"you’ve got to fully believe in and have a deep and abiding love and passion for what you do, what you sell, and to whom you sell it.

Your belief and passion has to be so strong that just the scent of it will knock down all doors, all obstacles, all disbeliefsâ€"and all objections.

Of course, if you don’t fully believe what you’re selling is the bestâ€"the best you can produce and your offer the best you can makeâ€"then it clearly isn’t! And to say otherwise is a damnable lie.

And you’ve got to be the sleaziest of con artists, a sociopath to the nth degree, to get excited about a lieâ€"to package it and sell it as truth.

How can you transfer your excitement, your palm sweating, knee-weakening passion to your customersâ€"instilling in them an unalterable and compelling desire to buyâ€"if you know deep down inside what you’re telling them and selling them is a lie?

Listen, if you’re just trying to make a buck by pulling a fast oneâ€"you’ll die poor.

Passion isn’t a shirt you put on in the morningâ€"it’s the skin you sleep in at night.

Passion is what your customers respond to, because passion comes from your heartâ€"from belief, confidence and love.

Love your customers and love what you do and be in love with what you have to offer and the world will be yours.