Saving A Relationship That Is On The Rocks

A common situation,Mike works long hours so Karen does not feel that he is really there for her,and Karen spends all of her time meeting the needs of the children so Mike feels that she does not have time for his needs. Can this relationship be rescued from further disaster and is this your personal plight?

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving,because, while almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must in fact decide that they definitely do want to make it work,so if one partner has opted out and does not want to opt back in, there is little that can seriously be done. Many people will stay in a relationship because it is convenient, or remain in a marriage because of the children, but that is simply not enough,so saving a relationship must start with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Then you must pinpoint the true problem or problems in the relationship, because one of the biggest problems in saving a relationship is that people often believe the symptoms of the problem are the actual problem itself. For instance, many people think that having an affair is a problem that causes break ups,whereas the real truth is that the affair is actually the symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a partner straying,and while most people will look at the affair as the problem, the main underlying cause of the affair was the actual lack of intimacy in the basic relationship.So if you can deal with that core problem first, then you might prevent another affair from starting, or perhaps another problem such as, for example, pornography.

Once you've identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts with your partner,which means both of you talking openly about your own feelings and then listening to what your partner has to say about their own feelings.Take hold of your partner by the hand when talking about your problems to act as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are in a turmoil,and when your partner talks about things that are hurtful to you just remember that they are not doing it because they want to hurt you, rather it is because they want to repair the relationship.

Then when you've identified the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them and then,most importantly,take that action,for example,if you do not spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week,such as taking turns to come up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, then commit to spending 20 or 30 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another,but carry through your plan.

You need to realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process and that you will take two steps forward only to take one step back, as there will surely be both laughter and tears going forward, so be quick to apologize and slow to blame,and always be thinking "Do I want to save this relationship"?