Rise Above The "first Wives Club"

Rise Above The "first Wives Club"

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You married until death do you part. You worked hard to build a life together, raise the kids and establish your nest egg for the future. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, you're knocked on your ass by a divorce.

After spending some time in a numb haze you begin to get up - not an easy thing to do in a painful emotional wave.

Many first wives are angry, vindictive and scared as they first look a future landscape they didn't plan on and being single again. Ex-husbands tend to be angry, bitter and resentful at first.

I don't refer to Ex-husbands as 1st-Husbands because in a youth-driven society it's often easier for a man to remarry than it is for a woman. My female clients who find themselves in such a situation tell me the dating scene is fraught with age discrimination. It's also been tough for self-assured women who are financially secure. These clients tell me men aren't interested in women who don't 'need' them.

Well, that's one perspective. Another is there are many men of quality who are not intimidated by women of equality. But I digress..

Either way, its a painful transition for all those involved.

I remember watching the movie The First Wives Club, based on an even better book by Olivia Goldsmith. It was about three divorced women who seek revenge on their husbands who left them for younger women. they aim to get revenge. After a lot of comedic antics what the women ultimately got was - themselves.

They learned that seeking revenge would make them no better than what they thought of their husbands. Instead, they turn their attention, energy and focus to being the highest and best version of themselves as possible. And they thrive.

The same experience is held by men who initially seek to soothe their marital and divorce anguish though what is often termed a 'mid-life crisis'. Those that learn the lessons within one derailed relationship and apply those lessons into the next one - no matter the age of the new paramour - transform their anger, bitterness and resentment of women into a new appreciation where they are able to powerfully and vulnerably open their hearts, instead of just their wallets, to enjoy a deeper, more meaningful relationship.

Sit in any nice restaurant at lunch on a week day and you'll see tables of women of all classes bitching and complaining about the men (or lack thereof) in their lives. Bottom line is, you'll get what you expect.

You won't easily find groups of men moaning and groaning about women. This doesn't mean that they don't. Men just tend to internalize their feelings. Expressed or not, all feelings are real. Not all reasons for all feelings are real, though.

So, if you're knocked on your ass by a divorce, instead of signing up for the bitch fest, rise above. Shape your future by imagining and expressing what you want instead of what you don't want. Have the moxie to be real, be heard and be powerfully vulnerable.

If you do, you'll enjoy the deepest loving relationship possible - one with meaning and purpose that fulfills every fiber of your being. It's the relationship you have with you.

Listen up! This is what you're here to do.

About the Author:
Inner Wealth Coach, Author & Speaker, Valery teaches financial achievers how to create an experiential shift, a personal transformation, to become a fuller, more complete, self-actualized unique individual. Her private select clientele develop a meaningful & fulfilling legacy that exceeds an outer luxury lifestyle Complimentary eBook.



Article Originally Published On: http://www.articlesnatch.com


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