People Walk Into A Bar (humor)

You know what happens when some dude walks into a bar...

WATCH OUT!
Two clowns walk into a bar.

You'd figure the second guy would have seen it.

DILSEXIA:
A dyslexic walks into a bra........

BAR TYPE:
A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry bud, we don't serve your type here!"

SCIENCE IN THE BAR:
2 hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One says, "I do believe I've lost an electron"

The other hydrogen atom says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive".

PEE-OOH!
A man walks into a bar where a piano entertainer is playing music, sits at the bar and orders a beer. The piano player's monkey soon jumps on the bar and urinates in the man's beer. The surprised dude calls to the piano player, "Hey, do you know your monkey peed in my beer?" The musician responds, "No, but if you hum a few bars, Imight recognize the tune. "


OH YUCK!
A man walks into a bar and sits on a stool. The bartender snarls, "What'll you have?"

The man says, "Got any pickled sunflowers?"

The bartender spits and says "We don't have pickled sunflowers. That's revolting. We serve alcohol, now go play in traffic!"

The man hops off the stool and walks out of the bar.

The next day, the same man walks into the same bar, jumps up on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks again, "Got any pickled sunflowers?"

The bartender, not bothering to conceal his irritation, retorts, "I told you yesterday we don't serve pickled sunflowers here, we serve alcohol, now GET OUT!"

The man hops down from the bar stool and walks out of the bar.

The next day, the same dude walks into the same bar once more, sits on a stool, looks at the bartender, and asks him again, "Got any pickled sunflowers?"

The bartender, enraged, pounds his fist on the bar and screams at the man, "I told you two times already we don't serve pickled sunflowers here, we serve only drinks! If you ask me ridiculous request ONE MORE TIME I'll staple your butt to the bar! NOW GET OUT!"

So the dude shrugged, hopped off the bar stool and walks out of the bar..

The next day, the same guy walks into the same bar yet again, sits on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, "Got any staples?"

The bartender, puzzled, says no.

The guy then looks him square in the eye and asks, "Got any pickled sunflowers?"

GRAMMAR:
A gerund walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "What are you, drinking?"

DRUM SET:
Three dudes walk into a drum set.

Ba dum dum!

JOKE FARM:
Two characters walk into a bar. One guy is a farmer, the other is a city slicker.

The farmer sits down on a bar stool and orders a beer. The city dude asks for a glass of wine. The bartender says, "Sorry dude, no wine left."

So the city slicker walks out.

The bartender asks the farmer what he grows, "Grapes."

BAR JOKE
A priest, a rabbi, a nun, a lawyer, a blind parrot, an advertising executive, a goat, a fox, an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman and a hooker walk into a bar.

The bartender looks from his crossword puzzle, and says, "What is this, some idea of a joke?"