Open Adoption: At The Hospital

Open adoption has made almost the entire pregnancy and birth experience available for many adoptive parents. Birthmothers want get to know the adoptive parents and give them a chance to bond with the child as soon as possible. It also gives the adoptive parents a chance to find out what the birth experience is like.

The following is Raul and Rita’s account of this experience:

When Marie (our birthmother) picked us, we began to get to know each other right away through regular phone calls, emails, and text messages. We were hoping we would be able to be at the hospital when the baby was born. People from our support group related stories of their hospital experiences. These stories ranged from good to bad and everything in between. Although we hoped our experience would be a good one, we settled for a realistic view of the experience.

As the weeks before the delivery sped by, the Marie asked us to start coming with her to the doctor visits. It was about 90 miles each way but we felt this was well worth it! We were able to meet the doctor and were able to get to know him a bit. We felt comfortable asking the doctor questions about the health of Marie and the baby. The doctor was sure to include us in the discussions regarding the pregnancy and delivery with Marie’s permission.

Going to the doctor’s visits with Marie also gave the opportunity get to know one another. Marie lived with her mother, and after the appointments, all of us would get together for dinner. This proved to be a wonderful time for everyone, making everyone more comfortable as we prepared for the delivery.

When Marie needed to fill out a questionnaire regarding her hospital requests, she shared that with Rita. Marie even invited us on a tour of the maternity ward where we learned that the hospital would provide a room for us and the baby.

The two mothers went shopping for last minute baby items during the time leading up to the delivery. Rita also bought some special items for Marie. Since the due date was the day after Thanksgiving, we were invited to spend the holiday with Marie’s family.

When the day of delivery finally arrived, the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, things could not have gone more smoothly. Everything happened the way Marie had planned and we are honored to forever be a part of her life. That day, our son’s birthday, was a remarkable, exciting day we will never forget, but the days leading up to it with Marie and her family helped to create the bonds we have today. Each of those days hold special moments and memories, and are a part of our story.


The story above turned out to be a wonderful experience for both the birthmother and the adoptive parents. Being ready for the time in the hospital can help make the experience easier, because you do not have to rush around. You can relax and enjoy the journey.

It may not always be possible due to geography, timing, or simply birthmother’s desire. Whatever adoption journey lies before, staying flexible and ready to accommodate your birthmother’s requests, hospital requirements, or legal hurdles will be beneficial. It will also help you handle the stress and emotion of these days. Most of all, remember to enjoy the experience.