Normal-weight Moms Who Diet Are Hurting Their Daughters

In the quest for an 'ideal body', mothers are putting their daughters' self-images at risk. Dieting in normal-weight women is rampant in our culture. It seems that everybody wants to be supermodel thin. But at what cost? Women need to understand that in their own pursuit of perfection, they are teaching their daughters that 'good' is not 'good enough'.

I have yet to meet a woman who is completely happy with her body. My friends are beautiful, intelligent, successful women who spend a large amount of time talking about dieting and complaining about their bodies. What messages are their daughters picking up?

It is one thing for an overweight mother to go on a diet to prevent future health risks. It is another thing for a size eight mom to diet down to a size four. Body size has a strong genetic component. It is very likely that a size eight mom will have a size eight daughter. And don't we want our daughters to feel great about themselves? If they see us dissatisfied with our bodies, they will be dissatisfied with their own bodies. All this diet talk from normal-weight women is not healthy.

When a normal-weight woman tries to diet down to an unrealistic size, she normally winds up gaining weight. Weight regain rates in adults are extremely high, often approaching 80%. Maybe not immediately, but within a year or so, the weight usually returns. Weight regain is even more likely when the dieter starts out within the normal weight range. Not all bodies are meant to have such low levels of body fat. We can't fight our own body physiology. It is a losing battle. Yet thin women continue to engage in it day after day.

I was at an eight year old's birthday party recently with a group of beautiful, thin (but not super-skinny) mothers. I listened to them talk about dieting, unaware that their children were in earshot. One little girl asked her mom (a size six at most) why she didn't eat any birthday cake. The mom nonchalantly replied, "Ugh. I am trying to resist it because I have to lose some weight." I am sure that little girl looked at her slim mother and then down at herself and thought, "Do I need to lose weight?" And if she didn't think it now, she will surely think it before long.

Women have to give up this futile fight for their daughters' sakes. Dieting in normal-weight women will not result in long-lasting weight loss and is extremely detrimental to their daughters. Moms need to think about how their negative body talk and constant conversations about dieting sound to their little girls. We need to do all we can to support positive self images in our daughters. Berating our own normal bodies is not helpful. Instead, we should focus on teaching our children to make healthy food choices from an early age. We should model healthy exercise behaviors from the beginning. And we should keep the focus on heart health, not the size of our thighs. We need to celebrate all the different shapes that women come in. The best way to teach your daughter to love her body is by showing her that you appreciate your own.