My Ideal Picnic

We all have seen the picture of the stereotypical picnic that includes the red and white checkerboard table cloth laid out on green grass, topped with fried chicken, bread, potato salad, corn on the cob and all of the other side foods that go along with this. All of that food miraculously fits inside the double opened picnic basket. The setting is usually a local park on a bright sunny afternoon with laughter and children playing in the background. A father and son are playing catch in one area. The golden retriever and his master are playing frisbee in another.

Am I the only person around that thinks this is totally lame? Don't get me wrong. This sounds idyllic, but boring. Let me tell you what I think a good picnic is all about.

Let's start with the food. Fried chicken is OK, but wouldn't buffalo wings work better? Nice hot buffalo wings with blue cheese dressing along with loads of celery and french fries. In fact, screw chicken all together and let's go with some juicy steak! If you pick a location that has grills or you bring your own, you can cook what you want right there and avoid a trip to KFC for some tasteless chicken. I mean this is all about fun right?

So let's get started on that medium rare, grilled to perfection steak with all the trimmings. Throw in some baked beans and french bread. If that's not enough, bring some burgers and hot dogs made of high grade beef. OK, someone can bring potato salad but baked potatoes are preferred and they can be baked on the grill first. Need something to drink?

We are all grown ups here. Bring the beer! The colder the better, which means you need coolers with plenty of ice. This sounds more fun to me already.

What about that table cloth? I don't know about you, but my rear end hurts when I sit on the ground. I avoid pain as much as possible. That means I need to sit on a nice comfortable picnic table. You can still enjoy the grass, but do you have to sit on it? I'm sure plenty of dogs have blazed through this trail before you got there and marked the territory to scare off rivals in one way or another. Did I not mention the frisbee catching golden retriever? Bring the table cloth and place it over the picnic table like it was meant to be used. Do me a favor and avoid the checkerboard pattern, OK?

Let's bring in the entertainment now. The standard picnic puts me to sleep, but what about music or an outdoor festival at a park with plenty to do? During summer there always seems to be an outdoor concert at a park somewhere. Try to pick a location for your picnic that has something going on that raises the level of entertainment. If all else fails, bring your iPod and something to scream the music out on. Hey, it doesn't have to be loud, it just has to be good…like your picnic!