Love - What Does Unselfishness Have To Do With It?

In The Spirit and the Forms of Love, Daniel Day Williams writes: "Love does not solve every problem, but without growth in love and in the capacity to receive love, the kind of knowledge of the world and of other persons which requires objectivity, dependability, and insight does not come . . . Without love the mind becomes the weapon of sophisticated violence. The love of wisdom becomes self-serving pride." Love and unselfishness go hand in hand, but unselfishness is not an inherent characteristic of human behavior. Unconditional love must therefore be cultivated.

According to epochal revlelation, "Love, unselfishness, must undergo a constant and living readaptative interpretation of relationships in accordance with the leading of the Spirit of Truth. Love must thereby grasp the ever-changing and enlarging concepts of the highest cosmic good of the individual who is loved. And then love goes on to strike this same attitude concerning all other individuals who could possibly be influenced by the growing and living relationship of one spirit-led mortal's love for other citizens of the universe. And this entire living adaptation of love must be effected in the light of both the environment of present evil and the eternal goal of the perfection of divine destiny."

Unselfishness is not a natural human characteristic; it requires the enlightenment of reason, morality, and the urge of religion - God-knowingness - to generate an unselfish and altruistic social order. The selfless attitude of a wise and loving parent emerges as we grow in appreciation of God as the one Divine Parent of all.

Unselfishness—being selfless—isn't a masochistic tendency rooted in self-denial and suppression of desire. Rather, it is an expression of appreciation for the source of our salvation and recognition of the destiny of our spirit-born souls. While humility before God is appropriate, and meekness among others is commendable, attention-craving humility is an unworthy attitude from the children of God. Any actions of convenience or expectation of reward may be benevolent, but still fall into the human realm of self-interest.

As we grow in our understanding of the nature of God, we grow in our recognition of his selflessness and the desire to improve the quality of our relations with others—not from a sense of duty but from the inspiration of love. When we increase awareness of our indwelling fragment of divinity, we grow in our appreciation that the destiny of humanity is righteousness. A spiritual reverence and deep conviction evolve within our soul, reflected in the declaration: "It is my will that your will be done." In other words, I choose to show my love and appreciation for God by striving to develop a God-knowing balanced personality, thereby deepening the capacity to lovingly serve my fellow human beings.

A healthy family unit provides the best setting for learning unselfishness. Ideally, parents embrace the supreme responsibility of assisting the child in the battles of life by caring and through training the child to become a self-supporting, wise, loving, and honest individual who can contribute to the progress of civilization. The young adult attains respect and trust for her parents, not from obligations but as a result of the quality of care, training, and affection that the parents display. The true parent is engaged in a continuous service-ministry which the wise child comes to recognize and appreciate. Young adults are thus trained to expand their perception of a loving family to include their neighbors, their country, and the world.

This quality of unselfishness is the real measure of human greatness. To nurture the selfless element in moral behavior is to nurture the capacity to love, trust, and respect—capacities that thrive on knowledge of God and enhanced spiritual insight. We may have high moral standards and be idealistic, but growth in spiritual insight transforms morality into a driving force of enlightened change for societies and nations.