Love & Harmony In Relationships - A Dance Not A March

Love & Harmony In Relationships - A Dance Not A March

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Often in relationships, one party wishes to control the other to make for the relationship fit their ideas of "How Things Should Be!" However, the "Controller" creates an unnatural situation when they recreate their partner as themselves as the other side of the same coin. In this seemingly narcissistic endeavor, the controller stifles the potential for peace, love and harmony with their partner because this manipulation generally creates stress, lack of self-esteem and emotional discord.

Previously I have spoken of the poetic essence of women, and how men could relax their barriers to gentle intimacy. In this writing, for both men and women, I will share my experience in how to achieve harmony in a relationship.

First, for women to be of "Poetic Essence," they must be the gentle, loveable, warm person the expression implies. This does not imply they should be subservient, or less than their partner in any way. It does mean the woman should not be "Control Freaks" any more than a male in a relationship. Judy, my wife and love of my life, and I have been together for over thirty-seven years. We were both previously married to partners with major control issues, and I know of what I speak.

Both partners in a relationship should feel equally comfortable with the direction in which it is going and with themselves as fully vested individuals within it. One should not feel pressure to relinquish their individuality to be part of a "partnership," which is what a "relationship" should be. Life should be a dance, not a march, and the dance should be one in which both partners are able to flow together in comfort and harmony. Compromise is extremely important, as is listening to one's partner with an open mind and heart, and this needs to be done equally by both partners.

An experience my wife and I shared when we were first getting to know one another is a significant example of how communication should be, both verbally and non-verbally. We were attending a Modern Dance class being taught by a very intuitive woman. Since that time, this dance teacher, Dr. Joan Heartfield, has received her Ph.D. in Psychology and specializes in relationships.

There were about twenty people in the class with more individuals than couples, and more women than men. There was mellow live acoustic guitar music as an accompaniment for the dancing. Everything was free-form and flowing, with Joan leading the class with minimal verbal instruction as she moved among us.

She had everyone find a partner, and we would decide who would lead in the beginning. She told us to look in each other's eyes, and flow with the music, feeling what was transpiring between us as we danced. After a few minutes, she would say, "Okay, now change roles as leader and follower, without breaking the flow of your movement and harmony. This was an interesting transition; to see and feel what changed and what stayed the same, as the follower became the leader and the leader the follower.

Then after a few more minutes, Joan would say, "Okay, now flow into the energy you feel between you and follow that feeling, with neither of you leading, and you both follow the harmony and movement you feel together." This allowed a symbiotic balance of energy from within the partnership from which the two could flow in a beautiful harmonious dance.

This is the way love should be as well. People's lives together should be a dance, created in harmony, not a march directed by one for the other to follow. Bliss smiles on those that smile on each other. As a further expression of love and harmony, rather than control issues in relationships, I share the following poem I wrote for my wife Judy.

Love is like a Flower, intoxicating in its fragrance and captivating in its beauty.

Love is like a Tree, gaining elegance, grace and strength with time, withstanding the winds of change.

Love is like a River, exciting in its rapids, strong in its current, and calm in its depth.

Love is like a Sea, from which all life comes, and to which the River of life flows.

Love is the Music of God, dancing in our hearts and soul, the ebb and flow of life, within you and without you.

Come Judy my Love, let's Dance.

About the Author:
Harlan Hughes is the creator and owner of Maui Zen Villa Spa on Maui. Harlan and his wife Judy share their Private Japanese Bath House with others wanting a Massage on Maui. Couples especially love this Spa on Maui for a romantic get away. You can visit Zen Villa while listen to the waterfall and relaxing music by going to http://www.mauizenvillaspa.com



Article Originally Published On: http://www.articlesnatch.com


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