Kid's Cell Phone Come With Responsibilities

While I was talking with a friend's ten year old daughter she told me how she needs a cell phone. Having a pretty good relationship with her I knew this girl was not a very responsible person. She's a smart girl. But she's like most ten year old kids; she just doesn't take care of any of her toys or clean her room, and very often doesn't turn in her homework.

I asked her why she thinks she needs a cell phone, and I heard the response that almost all kids give. "I need it to be safe. And all my friends have one ". Well, I think it was pretty clear the main reason is not for safety, it's because everyone else has one and she doesn't want to be left out. Most kids have heard the ads about how much safer your kids will be if they have a cell phone, and they pick up on that.

No matter what your reason is for buying a cell phone for your child I think it's a good idea to make sure they can be responsible. I know parents who have bought cell phones for their kids and they wind up losing them, or letting their friends borrow them. Before giving one to your child take a couple months to determine if they can handle the responsibility by observing your child and ask yourself:

Does your child routinely lose things or breaks things? If your child loses toys, or items fairly often or you find games or toys broken they most likely are not ready for a cell phone. Phones are expensive and they are not indestructible.

Take a look around their bedroom. Are they responsible enough to keep it picked up? I'm not talking about the white glove treatment here. I'm referring to whether they have dirty plates with food or glasses half filled laying around that should have been put in the kitchen.

Do they clean their bedroom without being asked? Not too many kids will clean their bedroom with out being told. This would really be a sign of responsibility.

Do they clean their bedroom when asked? This would be an expectation to having a cell phone.

Does your child do their homework and follow through and actually turn it in? These are basic instructions that need to be followed. One of the reasons homework is given is to teach kids at a young age to be responsible.

How are their grades? Are their grades at an acceptable level for their abilities? Grades were the one thing I tie to whether my son could play any sports, or driving. These types of things are privileges not rights for kids.

Does your child try to do the best they can, or do they tend to give up when it gets tough? By having a cell phone a child will need to be able to stand up to other kids in case of bullying. If they tend to roll over and give up on tasks that seem hard they probably won't be able to say "No, you cannot borrow my cell phone".

If you have assigned chores for them do they actually do it without you reminding them? A reminder now and then is okay, but if you have to constantly be on top of them to do what they are suppose to do doesn't pass the test.

These questions can tell you a lot about whether your child is responsible enough to handle a cell phone. If you find after a couple weeks of observing that improvement is needed in those areas. Sit down with your child and explain that you are thinking about buying them a cell phone, and you need to see that they are responsible enough to use one.

Talk with them about how having a cell phone is a privilege and not a right. And that they need to earn that privilege. Let them know the areas where they need to improve and what you expect from them.

I am sure once they hear that you are interested in giving them a cell phone they will be excited and happy to meet your expectations, at least until they have it in hand. Once they have met your expectations, sit down with them and come to an agreement regarding the consequences if they fail to continue to fulfill those responsibilities. It's important to come to an agreement and consequences before you actually buy the cell phone, or you will be asking for trouble. Remember to tie those consequences back to the privilege of having a cell phone. I have found when you involve your child in making the rules it is easier for them to keep the rules and they tend to remember them.

Keep in mind some kids can take the care needed to handle the responsibilities of a cell phone, but others may not be ready. Cell phones are not for everyone. Examine your motives for giving your child a cell phone; it may be more for your comfort than for your child.

It's another thing in childhood that does not need to be rushed. Let your child be a child for as long as they can. They will have lots of responsibilities as they grow older. Then they will be wishing they could be a kid again.