Is Fear Of Being Alone Why You Stay With The Narcissistic Emotional Abuser?

If you live, then you exist. If you exist, then particular experiences are present for you along with the entire human race. Human beings experience different kinds of fear such as fear of growing old and losing survival skills (work abilities), fear of death, fear of dying, and fear of being alone. There are other kinds of fear common to man, but for the sake of your situation with the narcissistic emotional abuser in your life, let's focus on the last fear noted, fear of being alone.

Though you find yourself in a situation where you remain in an emotionally abusive relationship, have you ever questioned why some people stay together when listening to stories of other people's relationships that appear to be unhealthy with both partners being unhappy? After hearing story after story of cheating partners in supposed committed relationships, partners refusing to earn a paycheck, partners unwilling to do or be this or that, it is common to wonder why in the world these people remain together. Many superficial answers can perhaps be given, but beneath all the reasonable explanations, is it possible that the underlying reason people remain in unhappy, unhealthy relationships is because of their fear of being alone?

Could it be that one of the flaws of the narcissistic emotional abuser with whom you are involved is that they are running away from the fear of being alone? Could it be that when the narcissistic emotional abuser became involved with you it was out of a response to being afraid of being alone? They weren't really in love having found the person with whom they wanted to spend the rest of their life. (Remember, the narcissist loves only themselves). They were possibly just afraid of being alone. They attached themselves, somewhat like a parasite, onto the first available host until, in their mind, something better crossed their path.

We could propose numerous scenarios for the narcissistic emotional abuser in your life, but let's look at you. You are continuously being emotionally abused, yet you keep going back into and out of this relationship.

Dynamics exist between individuals and within relationships. You are being emotionally abused and not just by chance, but on purpose with premeditated thoughts by the narcissistic emotional abuser, yet you choose to remain in this type of relationship. Why? You ask yourself. Others ask you the same question. The answer that you give is that you love this person. You love how they make you feel (on the good days), however, are there really any good days anymore? Your loved one talks with you, reassures you, and does the bare minimal to keep you around. Ask yourself, "Really, when was the last good day? When did they do something to make me feel important and valued?"

Are you able to give yourself an honest answer of why you remain in this emotionally abusive relationship? Is it for survival now or in the future? Are you depending on their income to pay your bills, benefits, retirement? If it is not for practical purposes, then could it be that one of the reasons is because of your fear of being alone?

Do you find yourself thinking you won't find someone else? What if you didn't find another person to love you for the rest of your life? Is that a scary thought for you? Is it a scary thought to ponder that the person that says they love you really does not love you, but they're physical presence is there and that alone gives you some kind of comfort? They answer your phone calls and that comforts your mind that you're not alone in this big world. Someone loves you.

These are difficult questions and the answers are painful to accept, but this is reality. This is your life. Like it or not, this is it. You are in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissistic emotional abuser that says they love you, but hurts you day in and day out.

Do you really think that you are such a bad person and so unlovable that no one for the rest of your life will ever love you, value you, and treat you with respect? If you are thinking this way, then you have some serious work to do on you. If you are thinking this way, then perhaps an honest question would be for you to ask yourself, "What do I have to offer in a relationship? Am I healthy? Am I needy? Am I whole?"

If you are not whole, then you are needy and you will take whatever comes your way. Would you not prefer knowing that you can confidently walk through this life alone holding high respect for yourself and requiring it from any individual that enters your life?

Fear of being alone is common to mankind. A question for your soul, "Are you so afraid of being alone that you will choose to continue to be tormented by a narcissistic emotional abuser until your heart is a shattered mess?"