How We Could Solve Poverty With Expert Parenting Advice

Parents don't get an operators manual along with their new baby.

Which is tragic, really, considering the fact that they are embarking on the most important task of their lives. After all, the success of their children depends, to a large part on their success as parents. And the success of each generation, of the neighborhood, even of the country and the continent, depends, to a large extent, on the success of that generation's parents in raising them.

Most parents get by. Their kids grow up and also get by. They live average lives in average communities, and raise the next generation to do the same.

But in an increasingly complex society, is that good enough?

First, we see our society plagued by problems such as crime, prostitution, homelessness, drug abuse, poverty and broken relationships. In most cases the reason is not hard to find - those tragic adults grew up in tragic homes where "good enough" parenting was sadly lacking. Why? Because, by definition, half of all parents are doing a "below average" job in raising their children. And those children will, most likely, grow up to then do a below average job in raising their children. And so the cycle of depravation goes on.

But suppose we could rase that level of "average"? Suppose we could give all this new generation some new skills so that when they become parents they have something better to pass on to the next generation? Wouldn't that result in a better outcome for ALL of us?

Second, look around at the leaders in our society? What do you see? Corruption? Selfish ambition? Hidden agendas? Don't we need more heroes? More statesmen of outstanding virture, courage, leadership and wisdom? It is said that behind every successful man is a successful woman? Isn't that woman most often the man's mother? What if we could raise the standard of parenting so that we had more people growing up in secure, loving, confident families so that, instead of manifesting hurt, insecurity, and mistrust, our leaders could show a wondrous capacity for love, kindness and generosity?

Third, don't we, as parents ourselves, want to give our own children the best possible start to life? For them to grow up happy, confident, and skilled in social relationships? Don't we long for them to be able to avoid the mistakes that we made?

But how can we teach them all that unless we ourselves have been taught? And if all that we have been taught comes solely from what our own, fallible, parents passed on, and from what we have, by chance, picked up from movies, TV, and our friends and neighbors, is it not surprising that the raising of our own children becomes a rather hit-and-miss affair?

So why is it that the idea of getting some training as a parent is so repugnant to most people? Why is there such a social stigma to the idea of admitting that, when it comes to raising kids, we don't know it all?

Are we nuts? Most people who are sensible recognize the need for training for just about any activity in life - indeed, they positively go out of their way to seek more education and more training so as to enhance their skills and, in turn, enhance their lives. Yet when it comes to raising their children they think they can just make it up as they go along?

Isn't it time we moved on from that? Isn't it time that the normal expectation would be that people take parenting training at various points along the journey, just as the normal expectation, now, is that expectant mothers take ante-natal classes?

Isn't it time that this changed? Isn't it time that we made a more deliberate, and systematic, effort to better equip parents with the parenting skills and advice they need?

To bring it closer to home, take a look at your own life? If you have children, are you doing the best you can? How do you know you are? You don't know what you don't know, so if you have not had some teaching, how can you know that you are doing all you can to inspire and motivate your children? That you are adapting your behavior to match their temperament so as to best give them confidence and teach them responsibility? Wouldn't it be worth to spend a bit of time and money to read some books, attend a seminar, or watch a DVD so that you can understand them even better?

And how will your children learn good parenting skills? Should they just watch what you do and copy that?

Do you not think that something this basic should be taught in school, along with the three R's as a vital life skill?

So, next time you watch the news and see yet another tragic shooting, murder, suicide or rape, ask yourself how different it might have been if that person's parents, and grandparents, had had some decent guidance on the challenging task of raising their kids?

Then go and get yourself a parenting book. Read it. Discuss it with your friends. You might be amazed at what you discover!