How To Win Him Back After You Have Cheated On Him

He left you because you had an affair. ...but does it have to be that an affair will, necessarily, mean the end of a relationship? I don't think it does. If both of you honestly want to keep the relationship working, then it surely is possible to save it.

How do you restore lost trust? This is not going to be easy. It will involve a significant change in the way in which you act toward each other and your approach to each other. An affair is probably the greatest challenge for a relationship, but there is however still a way forward even after an affair.
Trust has been broken and trust needs to be mended, and instead of an increase of mistrust, the relationship needs an increase in the level of trust between both of you.

Why did you have an affair? There was something in you which made you stray. Something must be wrong at the heart of your relationship. This needs to be fixed, but I assure you, it can be fixed. Were you looking for something when you found the affair? Was there a problem with sex? Was he neglecting you? Was he neglecting himself? If your relationship had been ok, then the affair would not have happened.

How can you put things right? You must begin by looking into your heart, and looking into the heart of your relationship. If you want to restore trust then the basic problems must be solved. You may need to go to relationship counselling. However, you must realize that all the theory in the world is not enough. The theory must be put into practise to work towards a solution to the underlying issues. In order to restore trust, you must not only talk, but take action to put things right. You must make promises and keep to them. Start small and work to increase trust. If you can show yourself to be trustworthy in small things, then the level of confidence in the relationship can gradually increase.

He is going to need constant reminders that the relationship is moving back towards a level of mutual trust. You will need to show him that you are sorry and will never betray his trust again. He may have a tendency to remind you of the way you damaged his trust, and you may need to accept this as a necessary part of the healing process. It will not be easy for him to forgive and forget You will need to show patience if you really want to win him back. Don't think that this will last forever. Your guilty feelings must fade as his trust must increase. The trust that you are now building will negate his need to play on your guilty feelings. Try to understand where he is coming from.

Can any good come out of this? Yes. This affair, and the work you both do to repair your trust, will be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship, and to allow you both to grow and mature. Your relationship can improve and grow stronger, because you have both fought for it together. It will take time to restore full trust, and you will both have to work on your attitudes and deeds. ...but, in the end, you will have healed and strengthened your bonds.