How To Win Back Your Lover

You thought you had a great relationship but something happened and now you and your lover are on the outs. Following a big break up you may be feeling sad, depressed, lonely or even desperate. You may be trying to figure out how to get over your ex and move on or maybe you are trying to figure out how to win back your love. Neither option is easy but your are going to have to choose one or the other and move forward.

To decide which optionis right for you some reflection on the relationship and the break up is needed. You need to takean honest look at the relationship. Was it a healthy relationship that made both people better people or was it passionate yet not particularly healthy for either person. Was it mostly good or mostly bad? Be honest here when you are listing the good and bad traits of the relationship. It is easy to look back with rose colored glassed in the wake of a break up and remember things as being better than they were. Next, think about the break up. Did the relationship just wither away from lack of attention or was there some precipitating event? Is it something that you guys can forgive and forget or something that one or both of you will never be able to get over? After all this soul searching you can make a realistic decision about whether you want to to make-up or move on.

So if you decide to make up and rekindle things with your ex then what? Well start by thinking about why you two broke up. Was it your fault, your lover's fault or was there enough blame there for everyone?

Ifthe break up was your fault then there is no better place to start than a sincere apology. If you hope to win back your ex then you need to prove to him or her that you have fixed the problem or are going to do things differently. You may have to build trust. These things take time. Give you ex-lover time to get over what ever it was you did. Be persistent in your apology and your efforts to make amends.

If the break up was you lover's fault then he or she really needs to apologize and make up to you. The best thing you can do is stay busy and stay attractive, but you really do not want to pursue your ex. If he or she doesn't want to apologize after doing something to cause the break up then why do you really want that person back. They certainly aren't treating you with the love respect and care you deserve. Reconsider that moving on option I mentioned earlier.

If there really was blame for both of you in the break up then the best course of action is probably to sit down and have an honest conversation with your ex. Apologize for your part and see if your ex will apologize for his or her part. If your ex apologizes and wants to work it out then you can map out a plan together to make it work. But if your ex won't accept responsibility for their part of the break up then again you need to reconsider that moving on option I mentioned earlier.

Whatever you decide to do remember making up, like a relationship, takes two people. You can't force your ex into it and you can't do it alone. Good luck trying to win back your lover.