How To Move On From A Broken Heart

So, the break up is final, or at least it seems that way. You've exhausted everything in your "play book" for trying to resolve the differences between you and your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend. You're now feeling like there is nothing left that is within your power to save the relationship. Once you've reached what feels like the point of no return, you're left wondering how to move on from a broken heart.

Break ups are always going to be painful situations. Regardless of which side of the fence you're on, the dumped or the dumpee, an end to a long-term relationship is going to be the mark of dramatic changes that you may or may not have been ready for. With that in mind, any major change is going to be difficult for most to deal with simply because it is in our nature as humans to be more comfortable with a predictable, constant state of being.

Perhaps more importantly, however, it is difficult to move on from a broken heart because of a pesky little human trait (or flaw) commonly referred to as "pride." You see, one of the reasons you are having such a hard time with the break up is because you are feeling rejected or that you have failed. That feeling of rejection or failure is your pride talking. Now, knowing why your heart feels broken is important, but you're likely more interested in knowing how to go about getting past these hurt feelings and getting on with your life and being happy once again.

The first thing you need to do is accept the break up for what it is. What I mean here is that you have to tell yourself that the break up did happen for a reason (or multiple reasons), and regardless of your not wanting it to happen and how much you feel heartbroken now, you can't snap your fingers and magically put the relationship back together in an instant. Instead, just concentrate on the fact that the relationship is, in fact, over for now.

Next, it is important to realize that it is perfectly okay to be upset, to have a broken heart. Don't try to avoid or bury your feelings of hurt. Let them out. Now, I don't mean you need to go outside and shout to the world that you are suffering or anything, but perhaps you have a close friend or family member that you can talk to about how you feel. Surely, they'll be more than happy to lend a supportive ear. If not, seek the support of a professional or even clergy, if necessary.

While you're dealing with your broken heart, it will help to remove anything from your life that reminds you of the failed relationship. Box up or throw away anything in your home, car, etc. that brings back memories of your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend. Get those things out of sight.

Also, you may want to make other alterations to your day to day life that might remind you of your ex. For example, if the two of you spent a lot of time at a certain night club, coffee shop, etc., then perhaps it is time for you to try something new for awhile. You don't want to hang out anywhere that may also remind you of the times you shared with your ex.

While it is often suggested by many professionals that you should never try to get involved with a new partner while you're still dealing with a broken heart, it can be beneficial to your moving on if you can be open to dating new people. Going back to the idea that a big part of being hurt in a break up has to do with rejection (hurt pride), dating someone new can greatly help with restoring your pride by proving to yourself that you are, in fact, desireable in the eyes of others.

Granted, you may not feel up to dating new people, or you may feel that you are just not ready to start a new relationship as you have so many lingering feelings for your ex right now. However, realize that dating someone new doesn't mean you have to do so with any intention of seeking another long-term relationship. A simple, platonic lunch with a friend of the opposite sex can even do wonders for your hurt pride.

Figuring out how to move on from a broken heart may feel like a daunting task to accomplish. While there is no real magic way to make your heartbreak go away in a flash, in time, you'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. Hopefully, you'll also have learned from the failed relationship so that you'll be ready to make the next one last a lifetime.