How To Make Up After A Bad Fight - Best Advice For Struggling Couples

How To Make Up After A Bad Fight - Best Advice For Struggling Couples

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How to make up after a fight, you're wondering?

You can't believe the heaviness - that sunken feeling in the middle of your chest. You feel sick inside because you've had the worst fight ever and you desperately need to know how to make up with the person you love.

Before you do anything else, try to figure out what went wrong. What was your fight really about?

If you just look at the surface of it, you might think your fight was over something common like money or some little thing your partner did to annoy you.

But maybe there's something else even more deep seated - could there be bad memories from a rough childhood or a painful past relationship gone sour?

HOW TO MAKE UP AFTER A BAD FIGHT - TRY TO TALK THINGS OUT

See if you can talk it out - find and pinpoint the root cause of your fight.

If you can get to the root cause, it will be easier to understand each other, and have compassion.

Example: Feeling abandoned or neglected.

This is often a root cause for many a relationship meltdown.

Another example - do you feel inadequate in some way? Or your partner does? Having feelings of inadequacy can lead to frustration and low self-esteem.

Yet another example is feeling left out or taken for granted in some way. Do you include each other enough...in each other's lives?

Think about it, if one of you is really feeling this way - this could definitely be a root cause and needs to be brought out in the open and discussed in a loving and caring way.

Get real and get it out in the open. If you or your partner are feeling any of these feelings for more than just a little while, chances are good you'll be repeating the same argument later on.

If you can do this, you greatly improve your chances of making up after a bad fight.

MAKING UP AFTER A BAD FIGHT - TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FIGHT

Take responsibility for your part in the argument. Are you guilty of losing your temper? Are you scared of not being in control?

Whether we realize it or not, we humans tend to want to manipulate situations and the people closest to us to get the problem or fight resolved rather than facing things head on.

Admit to your part in the fight without blaming yourself or your boyfriend/girlfriend. Then you might be able to start communicating more clearly and create a new beginning.

HOW TO MAKE UP AFTER A BAD FIGHT - A LITTLE HUMILITY GOES A LONG WAY

When you find a way to apologize for the fight or breakup (even if you don't believe you started the ball rolling) chances are your partner will want to meet you half way and apologize also.

Let your loved one know that you never meant for things to get so out of hand.

Tell your partner you're tired of fighting - you don't want this anymore.

MAKING UP AFTER A BAD FIGHT - DON'T HOLD BACK

Don't hold back when it comes to talking things out. Being bitter or hurtful isn't going to solve anything...just like holding a grudge that never gets spoken.

Holding grudges can make you sick.

The last thing you want is to hold back and not communicate your real feelings...including the fact that you were angry and why.

It's important to get it out...but you know, it's how you do it that will make the biggest difference.

Chances are, your partner has some things to tell you that you might not want to hear or deal with. The best way forward though, is to deal with your issues because you don't want to grow further apart.

It's time to hone your listening skills...really listen to what the other person is saying and do your best to understand where they're coming from.

Bottom line - if either one of you is still unhappy after patching things up...if there are issues left unspoken or unresolved...it's not going to be good for your relationship in the long run.

HOW TO MAKE UP AFTER A BAD FIGHT - DON'T WAIT TOO LONG

This is a crucial point. If you wait too long to get back together after a bad fight it's only going to be harder as more time goes on.

Don't feel like your relationship is doomed because you had a bad fight or a few of them in the past.

Just about every couple has fights now and again - these are growing pains and are bound to happen.

The best advice is to learn from each fight that you have. What's the big takeaway? Did you have a communication break through?

Did you get closer afterward? What is the best thing you can do for each other now, when it comes to a promise?

MAKING UP AFTER A BAD FIGHT - IT TAKES TWO

Bottom line is a relationship is a two way street. When you're in a relationship, it isn't just your feelings that matter.

Remember that as a couple, when your feelings are hurt - it hurts your partner...when their feelings are hurting - it hurts you.

Don't allow a bad fight to come between you permanently...especially if your love is real. Always know that the love you share is far more important than any fight or miscommunication.

When you put your love first, any reasons for fighting become secondary.

With the stresses that our modern lifestyles bring, it's easy to get stressed and end up taking it out on the people closest to us.

Become mature, show compassion and really listen when you first get together after an argument.

When you do this, making up after a bad fight will be that much easier. Now you'll begin to see that you can have a fulfilled and happy relationship - when you can figure out the main issues and tackle them together.

About the Author:
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