How To Forgive Another

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Understanding how to forgive somebody else allows a way out of the pain of the past. When you've been wronged by another, the worst thing to do is to keep the hurt alive and ever-present in your life.

However there's a trick to forgiving someone else: you have to forgive yourself first. And that's why so few people are truly able to move on when they've been hurt.

So why should you forgive yourself first? First of all, self-forgiveness is a strength; it empowers you. By not forgiving yourself, you are not honoring or respecting yourself. You're saying you don't matter.

Forgiveness generates freedom. Forgiveness is liberating. Forgiveness is a positive, pro-active decision. It's a deliberate decision from a position of power and responsibility.

It is an act of character and integrity. It takes courage. I admit it's not easy to be kicked by somebody and then forgive YOURSELF for getting kicked.

Because, "It's not me - I didn't do this! It's THEM!! They're the wrong ones!"

But discovering your own contribution to being kicked is like finding a foothold to greater power and greater strength. You will become 'more' if you forgive yourself for being wronged.

It takes enormous courage to let go of the blame. So often we look for our strength in blame. We may even anchor to it.

And the thing is, we really are justified to blame! We actually WERE wronged. No one would deny that. It's obvious.

But what I'm saying is to go beyond the obvious. Blame doesn't solve problems. In fact, it locks those problems in place.

The trap is, you're really justified in blaming. But if you do, it keeps those painful feelings in place. You can't grow and stretch and reach for more in life if you're blaming.

It's similar to placing your feelings in the freezer. And then you have to tote that freezer around with you every where you go.

Blame is similar to being seduced by a beautiful woman with a hidden agenda. You believe she really does like you when all she wants is your money. When you know her game, you can easily resist. If you turn a blind eye, you'll get taken every time.

You believe blame is your friend, but really all it desires is your power. You have to give up your power to blame.

I know it doesn't seem that way, because we usually get a cheap hit of power when we blame. But it never lasts.

It is like buying on credit. There is no problem until the payment comes due.

If you want to get over the blame, then you first need to forgive yourself - as a way to honor, respect, and empower yourself. Forgiving yourself gives you the power - and the freedom - to forgive another.

It reaffirms your self-love and self-acceptance. It's a way to declare "I matter."

So how do you forgive somebody else? By forgiving yourself first!

About the Author:
For specific, fool-proof instructions on precisely how to forgive yourself, go to http://www.forgive-yourself.com - and then you can deal with forgiving the other person as well.



Article Originally Published On: http://www.articlesnatch.com


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