How To Create A Happier Marriage And Home

As it's the New Year and time for new beginnings I thought it might be a good time to answer a question I received from a reader some time ago. The question referred to wives' and husband's wishes for each other "in order to have a happier marriage and home".

I love this question because it goes to the root of all it is that we as human beings are striving for in our lives. That is just to be happy in our lives, in our marriages and in our homes.

Week after week I meet with people who come in to my rooms to find the answer to these dilemmas. I applaud each and every one of them, as I applaud you who have come to my site to seek answers, for taking the time to not just ask the questions but attend counselling in order to find the answers.

The sad news is that it is still such a small percentage of the population that actually take the time to ask these questions at all, let alone seek to find the answers.

I feel that so many people somehow live in the acceptance of a life of mediocrity; mediocrity in their work, in their relationships as well as in themselves.

This acceptance of second best is, I believe, what keeps us from really taking care of our bodies as well as our minds, and consequently our spouses, to ensure that we get only the very best from them. So instead of watching our diets and only eating what is good for our bodies we stuff it full of unnecessary sugars and fats. Instead of getting adequate exercise we drive ourselves to where we are meant to be. And instead of having the tough conversations we should be having with our bosses and spouses we either ignore what's going on or distract ourselves with the myriad of things that are available to us.

These might include video games and computer social pages as well as shopping, drinking, illicit drug use, spending hours at the gym or in front of TV to name a few. At the end of the day these are just time fillers and while some of that might be OK we know we have a problem when other things in our life are not being paid attention to.

Live Your Life As If There Were Only Tomorrow

So in answer to the question on what it is we can wish for our spouses it's the same as we would wish for ourselves. To live our lives as if there were only tomorrow. I use the words 'only tomorrow' because if we were living only for today without any consideration for tomorrow why would we eat right or exercise or do anything to take care of ourselves to ensure a tomorrow.
Living as if there were only tomorrow means to live it all out today ensuring that our loved ones as well as ourselves get all the care we have to give. Eat right, get some exercise, make time for your wife or husband as well as for your children, allow your wife and husband also some time for themselves and most importantly of all live every moment of your life with passion.

If you truly love your spouse with all your heart then this is simple: wish with all your heart and all your good will that your partner values themselves enough to live their life fully and that they in turn would value you enough to encourage you to do the same. The natural outcome of this will be happier people living happier lives while happier lives create happier homes.

And if this becomes difficult to manage on your own seek out professional help. That's what Counsellors are trained for.

A word of warning here! If you decide to seek out a Counsellor make sure they are living the life that you are aspiring to live yourself. As I often say to my clients. "I can't take you where I haven't been myself". So interview your Counsellor, as they will be interviewing you, to ensure that you and/or you as a couple are going to get from them what it is you need to fulfil your wishes for you and your partners life.