How The Idea Of Tough Love Continues To Evolve

Tough love may seem like a relatively new idea, but in reality, parents have used techniques like this from time immemorial. The basic idea is to expose children to the consequences of their actions rather than sheltering them. This shifts the responsibility back to the children themselves, helping them to correct their behavior.

The parental version of tough love became codified about 30 years ago, when some people developed more detailed ideas about what kinds of parenting techniques fell into this category. Generally speaking, parents were advised to use it when things had gone completely out of control. Instead of coddling their children and coaxing them into change, parents were told to confront them and lay down specific consequences faced if behavior did not change.

This can be applied to children of all ages, troubled or not. However, when the stakes are higher, the consequences also become more serious. Parents sometimes resort to cutting off all assistance, financial or otherwise, until they get the results they want. Others feel like they cannot do it alone. Instead, they seek the advice of specialists in the field.

Price can be a limiting factor for some families. As many of these programs include room and board on a separate campus, they can be expensive, although not always. Costs vary by region and type of service. Other considerations, however, are equally important.

Where to send troubled youth bears just as much weight as the price. Many people are familiar with strict military-style institutions that promise to whip kids into shape. This works for some, but others prefer outdoor wilderness training programs. While these have a regimented schedule for the most part, the focus is obviously different. Each one will best serve certain personality types and dispositions.

This concept has also spread into other contexts as well. One of the most visible ways it is used is with drug addicts and alcoholics. Using the same ideas, such as boundaries and ultimatums, families engineer interventions to urge their loved one into therapy. Otherwise, the recalcitrant addict will have to deal with the consequences. Popular television shows have brought this strategy into the spotlight as well.

In fact, this concept has spread far beyond these roots and become a metaphor for any person or organization applying a similar approach. A quick search through headlines brings up governments applying tough love to societal problems and companies using it to get business back on track. Some TV shows and movies even rely on the concept to anchor the plot and give it an edge that people will relate to.

These shows and movies attract so many people because this is a problem that we all deal with, whether we have children or not. We see something going wrong, and we contemplate how best to change the offensive behavior. For many, tough love simply offers an efficient way to get those results.