How Perspective Shapes Our Behavior

One of my clients called me because he was applying for a significant executive position, and wanted my help with his resume and interview strategy. We talked for a bit, and I suggested a alternate way to look at his resume.
A light bulb went off. All at once, he was full of energy and enthusiasm. Just seconds prior, he was sober and analytical; now he was excited and couldnt wait to revise his document. In the matter of a few moments, something changed. As a result, he now saw possibilities where before there were only obstacles.

What changed? His perspective. The situation was just as it was a few minutes earlier. He was the same person, with the same set of skills, life experiences and character traits. But he saw things differently, through a different lens. His perspective changed, and that changed everything.
That experience was, from my side of the table, a great reminder of the power of perspective to encourage and shape behavior. We see examples of it all around us.

Our perspective influences and shapes our actions. I have often observed that people generally find that for which they look. Im not talking about our misplaced car keys. I mean in situations involving dealing with other human beings, we generally see the qualities and traits of character that we expect to see. For example, as sales people, we may go into an account with the perspective that this account is populated with small-minded people who are going to squeeze us for every penny they can, and choose the lowest cost provider no matter what. Generally, thats what we find.

On the other hand, we can go into the account with a changed perspective. Lets say our point of view is that this account is run by well-intentioned people who want only the best for their organization. Amazingly, thats generally what we will find.

Now dont attack my example and claim, Wait, some people truly are penny-pinchers, regardless of what I think. Granted. People are different, and there are some in every type and classification. Im not talking about them, Im talking about us.

In my example above, the objective truth is likely somewhere in the middle. They may be well-intentioned, striving for quality, and cost-conscious. Dont miss the point. If we expect people to be untrustworthy, it will be their untrustworthiness that rises to the surface of our radar scan. If we expect them to be kind, well notice their kindness. If we expect them to be self-absorbed, well notice their lack of concern for others.

And, since we generally notice those qualities and traits that we expect to see, that perspective changes and influences our behavior. Thats the point. I have often observed that, when people talk about other people, they really reveal more about themselves than they do the subject of their conversation. Thats because their judgments reveal their perspectives.

Regardless of the objective truth of the issue, if our perspective is that they are penny-pinchers, our experience will generally confirm that, and well treat them that way. Clearly the opposite is also true. If we expect them to be value-driven, well see them that way, and well treat them accordingly. The thing that makes the difference in how we treat them is not them, it is our perspective of them.

As an educator and sales trainer, I have observed a powerful truth of human behavior. It is this: Our perspectives on ourselves are far more important than our perspectives on other people. As we see ourselves, so shall we be. If we see ourselves as victims, we will forever be a victim. If we see ourselves as successful, we will eventually arrive there. Therefore, if we can uncover and release ourselves from our limiting perspectives of ourselves, we can change our behavior and enjoy dramatically improved results.

Ive seen it countless times in the work that I do. Ill have people come into my seminars with the perspective that this is just a job, and leave with a vision of themselves as professional sales people, and proud of it. Since they now see themselves as professional sales people, they act that way. As a result of their changed actions, they enjoy dramatically improved results. Heres the equation:
Changed perspective = changed actions = improved results.

But the principle is bigger and more applicable than just sales. It applies to every area of our lives. The more I reflect on my life and those around me, the more I see that so much of our behavior can be attributed to perspectives gained during our formative years.

For example, for my entire life I have been both empowered by and hindered by the perspective that I was forever on my own, independent, self-sufficient and self-contained. That perspective was a direct result of my parents intentional actions to instill independence in each of their six boys. My father had a heart condition and was never expected to live a full life. My parents, therefore, intentionally instilled that perspective into us to enable us to get along in a world without a fathers presence.

That has been a powerful perspective, shaping my actions and character throughout my life. So, too, for each of us. The perspectives we gained as we grew up shape our actions and reactions. They harden and form into habits, attitudes and eventually, character traits. If we want to change our results, then we ought to work on changing our perspectives.