How Do You Define Cheating On A Spouse?

How do you define cheating on a spouse? Are the lines of cheating that vague? Do you argue with your spouse as to what cheating really is?

Your spouse may not know the definition of cheating. Or they don't want to admit that they are considering cheating,or actually are cheating.

Today, you will get a better understanding of what infidelity is. You won't be left to doubt yourself reguarding your spouses behavior or the hurtful feeling it is causing you.

So now when you are testing the strength of your marriage,you sound like "Matlocke" examining the accused. Imagine this courtroom scene:

You-Who was on the phone?

Spouse-Someone from the office.

Y-Calling on a Saturday?

S-Just Betty, about some work stuff.

Y-Didnt sound like work to me. Whats going on. Are you cheating on me?

S-Dont be silly. Its not cheating if I just to talk to someone from work.

Y-It is if its Saturday and youre not talking about work!

See how quickly the conversation can turn into an argument. Each spouse is defending their definition of cheating.

Your spouse shows signs of denial, especially from the flattery of attention from a person outside of the relationship. If your spouse has been feeling neglected in the marriage,that attention feels good. And they won't admit to doing something wrong if it feels good.

Lets get this straight-feeling neglected is not an excuse or reason for this type of behavior. The problem is, the spouse getting this attention is not dealing with an issue in the marriage. They need to direct their feelings, emotions and needs with you, not someone outside of the relationship.(Unless when seeking help from a paid professional....Dr.,that is).

Now the cheater's frame of mind is,"I havent touched Betty(or Bob), so I am not cheating on my wife (husband).

Even with the lack of physical contact with "Betty" it is still a very lax definition of cheating. Lets take an upclose look at what cheating really is.

Defining The Act of Cheating in A Relationship

If your spouse is having a personal,intense relationship,it has probably already crossed the line. Although it may not be physical, an emotional affair can be just as bad.

When your husband or wife is emotionally intimate with someone other than you, you are the one losing the intimacy that belongs to you. The spouse who is sharing their most personal thoughts with someone other than you is damaging the emotional connection between the both of you. This behavior is causing the problem.

Ask yourself these questions to determine whether or not a behavior or action defines cheating:

1) Is the relationship with the other person concealed from you or does your spouse talk about the conversations that are they have with the other person?

Most spouses know that if they share intimate conversations outside of their marriage, their behavior is wrong. And when a husband or wife goes out of their way to hide the truth, then it can be defined as cheating.

2) Does your spouse becoming angry or defensive?

Does your spouse get upset when you bring up the subject or ask a question? Do they start arguments or don't seem to be acting as they normally do? This could be signs of cheating.

3) Does your spouse willingly protect the other relationshipat the risk of your own?

To be realistic, your spouse may have no control over who they work with or who they come into contact with in your social group. But on the other hand,if it seems as though they choose the other relationship,especially when it is clear that it is damaging your relationship guess what, this could be defined as cheating.

Your vows were with each othernot Betty or Bob, and the loyalty should be to the marriage, with no exceptions.