Help! My Child Has Been Kicked Out Of School!

Once again the British press is full of discussion about children misbehaving in school. And once again the main solution seems to be "exclude the troublemakers from the classroom".

This time, however, the latest spin on this is to make the parents stay at home to look after them, once they have been thrown out of school.

Why would anyone do this? It is a nuisance to parents. The discussion also details letting special schools remain open, plus building more special schools for these misbehaving children.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

This makes you to guess what you can do as a parent if you child has been sent home from school due to their behavior. Thinking about this in detail is my forte. Especially since I have had to deal with the similar issues with my oldest child.

1. You have not failed as a parent. Don't waste time having a pity party for yourself. Perhaps your parenting skills could use some improvement, but that is the case for just about everyone. Try to be a better parent by actively seeking out information through books and materials on raising kids.

2. DO NOT sit around blaming the school. Even if they are useless, the most likely reason is their own lack of resources (blame the education aurthority, blame the government, blame the voters). The teachers may not be able to help your child, but that reflects a lack of training and lack of time, not a lack of concern.

3. DO make every representation to the local education authority (LEA) to find an alternative appropriate service for your child. Don't be aggressive, don't be rude, but do be very persistent and very insistent. If need be, see your politicians and even your newspapers.

4. DO be prepared to consider alternative placements, such as special schools or even residential placements. Better to deal with it now, than to have your child growing up with the bad behaviors!

5. Seek professionals to determine if your child has a learning disability, ADHD or Asperger's syndrome. These can wreak havoc in the classroom. There is an enviroment in which children who suffer from these conditions can excel. It is a matter of finding the right educational setting.

6. DO NOT try to pretend that your child is an angel and everyone is wrong about his behavior. Much better to agree there is a problem and be seen to be doing your very best to get it sorted out - but for that you need help from the LEA.

These are a sample of the issues you may have to deal with, so be ready to conquer them.

Hope that is of some help to you, if you are struggling with this at home. And, if you are an educator, please don't be one of the ones that keeps trotting out that nonsense about excluding children as being the solution! It helps no one, and solves no problems.