Learn who you are and to be yourself - Often during a marriage, you mould yourself and your partner into someone who makes the other happy or at least that they can live with. Its time to let this go and start to think about what you like, what are your preferences and what you like to do. You may be surprised with the person you find inside yourself! Then you can go out or get online and meet others with the same take on life as you - before you know it you will be happier than you were before. All it takes is for you to make it happen.
Let the past go - Dont dwell on the past, what went wrong and what went right. That is what it is - the past. Try to look back on the good times with fondness and forget the bad ever happened. You may think that is impossible but with effort you will find that it isnt and you can start enjoying your life.
Be an initiator - don't wait for others to invite you along for the ride - dive in and make things happen. join social groups, setup your own online groups and invite people to join in the fun.
Dont become a stalker - many people feel that when they get divorced, they still have the right to contact their partner every day and to know what and when they are doing things. This is not acceptable. What your ex does and who they see is no longer your concern. Accept it and move on. If you continue to contact your partner and to try to discuss what has happened continually, even if they ask you not to then you are stalking them. This is not allowed by law and is not a good place for you to be at emotionally. Try to meet new friends, online dating allows you to contact like minded folk day or night and so may be the answer for those sleepless nights.
Dont talk about it too much - When you start meeting friends online, you may go through a phase of talking about your ex, your divorce and your feelings. This is fine and online dating and chat rooms allow you to do this - this could be better than paying a therapist! Long term though your aim has to be to move forward. When this time comes then try to avoid talking about your past and talk just about the now. No one wants to listen to someone going on and on about a significant other.
Let yourself grieve - there is a time for the grieving and it is important that you allow this healing process to take place. Just don't let it take over.
Trust and don't let your new friends pay for the sins of your ex - Now you are back in the land of the living and hopefully online
dating lots of local singles, remember not to let this past
divorce spoil things for you in your future. For instance if your ex cheated, there is nothing to say that your new friends will do similarly. Trust, be open and honest and things can only get better!
