Get On The Bus

Rock n Roll busses can be travelling frat houses. Theres little privacy, and they often smell like a combination of urine and diesel fumes. Remember that they stop almost exclusively at truck stops and not travelers rest areas (that gets old fast). The essential thing about bus touring is that its really your home away from home. Heres how it works: the bus driver gets quality sleep in his hotel room while youre hard at work sound checking, appearing at the local radio station, or actually playing the show. As the band blasts into the final chord of the gig, Mr. Bus Driver resurfaces from slumber land and heads for the bus where he waits for you and the rest of the band. You get on and wait for the crew to pack up everything gear, lights, P. A., and monitors.

A couple of hours later, when this is finished and everyone has boarded the bus, it drives overnight to the city of the next engagement. Its during this drive that youre supposed to sleep. (I dont know about you, but its hard for me to sleep well on a bus. I keep dreaming Ill wake up to find the bus driver asleep in a bunk and no one at the wheel!).

When we reach the next city, the bus parks near the venue. Makes sense right? But heres the juicy part: Lets say that the bus arrives at that city, after driving 350 miles, around 6AM. What do I do? Most of the time, Ill continue sleeping for a couple of hours. If I wake up at 10am now what? Breakfast? Shower? Phone calls? Visit relatives? Maybe. If the bus isnt parked in the thriving center of town, none of this might be possible. Its been my experience, in fact, that theaters and clubs are often on the outskirts of town and are sometimes in their most downright funky neighborhoods.

I can shower in the club, provided they have one that Id be comfortable using. I can dine at the McDonalds down the road a mile or so, provided Im up for a brisk walk through heavy traffic. As a rule, the bus always stays at the gig. Phone calls can be made and my distant cousin is a mere $20 cab ride away.

Okay, lets say that Ive successfully negotiated my morning routine. Its only noon, and sound check doesnt begin until 5pm. Now what? As much as I try to be productive, this aspect of bus touring can be really limiting and cramp my style. The best solution is to have a hotel booked. This brings us to our next surprise.

NO TELL HOTEL

Surprise #2 Accommodations. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT assume that youll be in a hotel every night. In fact, most bus tours only provide hotels on days off. Management reasons that if well be getting to the clubs parking lot at 6am, itll just be easier for us to stay there, at the venue. ALL DAY.

Management will also reason that check-in time at the hotel isnt until 1pm, and that wed have to check out at 4pm to make 5pm sound check anyway, so why bother? If right now youre asking why we have to check out of the hotel, just remember the overnight bus ride. In my experience, the band either checks out before sound check, or on the way out of town.

Management loves this because they save large sums of money (courtesy of your discomfort) on hotels during the duration of the tour. Please let me clarify one thing here: If you are on tour with a band in which youre a full member, by all means, save money any way you can. Im assuming here instead that youre a hired sideman.

So, at this time, I might remind our friendly tour manager that many hotels offer an early check-in. And heres where I see his shoulders hunch up, as he pretends like hes learning about early check-in for the very first time! I watch him squirm. As long as its set up as such in advance, there should be a hotel room ready upon arrival.

The Perfect Bus Day

My friends, heres how it should really work: The bus pulls up at the gig. The crew continues sleeping on in a drunken stupor, until their 10am equipment load-in. My band mates and I step off of the bus and into a cab that the tour manager has called. The cab takes us to a nearby hotel, where I check into my room.

I now have the day to rest, write postcards, make phone calls, practice and whatever else I may want. There is one hitch, however. Dont assume youll get your own room. Many tours encourage doubling-up on rooms, obviously to save even more money. But why anyone would want to share a room with someone theyre already spending 18 hours a day with is beyond me.

You may be wondering why management is so concerned with saving money. After all, this is Rock n Roll, aint it? Well, to their credit, management has to run a tour like they would any other business. They have to look at the numbers to make sure that the tour is bringing in more than its shelling out. After all, my salary is being paid out of the money that the tour is generating. Managements job is to run the tour efficiently, and cut excess spending everywhere they can.

All of thats okay, but heres where I get fired up Sometimes, the tour goes extremely well, like an oiled machine. Its also generating large sums of money. Wouldnt you think that as profits go up, accommodations would get better, and everyone would get more pay, too?

Unfortunately, this doesnt happen all of the time. Often, when a tour begins to pull in a lot of dough, the artist and management may want even more corners cut. To avoid what I term diminishing returns as one helps the artist to make an even greater profit while perhaps accepting something less than spectacular for yourself, think about negotiating for what will become a better deal down the road, when and if revenues permit. Otherwise, relatively speaking, a salary can become less than what it was when one started.

About the Author:
Brian Doherty is best known as a drummer for groups like They Might Be Giants, XTC, M2M, Freedy Johnston, and Ben Folds. He grew up in Randolph, NJ and earned a Master of Music degree from the Manhattan School of Music. Brian also holds a Master of Teaching degree from The City College of New York. He is currently a music teacher in the Bronx and remains professionally active in the NYC area. Read my story, see rare video, pics and more on my website www.briandoherty.net

Article Originally Published On: http://www.articlesnatch.com

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