Gaining Self Esteem

When our self esteem is low, we tend to have the habit of picking at ourselves. Little self-criticisms enter our thoughts constantly, and a lot of the time we don't even realize we're doing it! We just feel crumby. It's simply a bad habit to pick at yourself, but since that makes us feel sad and incompetent it limits us from doing all we can in life. When we notice we're doing self-criticizing, we can argue with the criticism and that helps. But if each evening we just think of three things we can feel good about ourselves, that would go a long way to building a more positive habit of looking at ourselves in terms of the good, rather than the bad.

We deserve to have better self-esteem. And the stronger we are, the more we can help others and want to help others, so we should never feel guilty about feeling good about ourselves. It isn't selfish. There is a big difference between healthy self esteem and being egotistical or insensitive to others. The egoist usually does not feel good about themselves. Their big words about themselves is a cover-up how small they feel. Self esteem is often quiet. Someone with good self esteem is not threatened by others criticizing them. With healthy self esteem they can laugh at their own mistakes, rather than having mistakes make them unhappy.

So at the end of each day, write in a journal at least three things that either you did today or ways that you are, that are things that you can feel good about or proud. Maybe you were kind to someone or did a task well, or resisted a temptation, or just simply did your best and tried, even if things did not turn out well. What kinds of things do you admire in other people? Did you do any of those things today? What qualities did you admire in your parents? Do you take after them in any of those ways? Are there other ways you chose consciously not to be like? Have you avoided addictions or crime? We already have many qualities we take for granted. Perhaps you received a compliment or two today, or a thank you, and those are also good things to note.

Write three things a night for a week to start and then try to make it a whole month. Everyone has value, every single day. You especially need to write three things on those days when you feel less good about yourself, but if you miss a night, just start again the next night. In a month you will have a little collection. It can be a good thing to re-read when you are feeling low. And will feel a noticeable difference as you go through your day.