Funny Message Alerts In An Online Social Utility

Recent Humor Articles

• Is It A Sign Of Things To Come? By: Knight Pierce Hirst - In 1953 Dick and Mac McDonald used golden arches for a sign. They put an arch on both sides of their first, walk-up hamburger stand in Oak Brook, Illinois. When viewed from an angle, the two arches looked like the letter "M". Although McDonald's stopped putting golden arches on most of their restaurants in the 1960's, the marketing of healthy happy meals shows that McDonald's is still interested in angles. In 1959 Harry Wheeler, an industrial arts teacher, built a sign for his Western store in Canyon, Texas and named the sign Tex Randall.
• How Embarrassing Was It? By: Knight Pierce Hirst - Embarrassment comes in all shapes and sizes. For example, police forces across the country use unmarked cars in undercover work. The Dallas police recently used a 2004 Infinity they'd seized in a drug raid. They used the car for 2 months before discovering $400,000 worth of cocaine hidden in hydraulically controlled compartments of the car. Obviously, their undercover work didn't include under their own cover. Then there was the incident at Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota.
• How Can We Cut Costs Without Bleeding? By: Knight Pierce Hirst - One way to cut the cost of living is to cut the amount of electricity we use. A brick, the box that's attached to a power cord, consumes electricity even when the laptop, cell phone or other piece of electronics isn't plugged into it. Televisions and cable boxes use power even when they are turned off and a big screen TV can use as much power as a refrigerator. Then there's that innocent-looking, electric toothbrush. Leaving that plugged in uses two watts of electricity.
• Who Rules The Animal Kingdom? By: Knight Pierce Hirst - It used to be thought that only chimpanzees, dolphins, elephants and humans could recognize their reflection in a mirror. Now German scientists have added magpies to that list. When magpies were marked with a red or yellow dot that was visible to the birds only in a mirror, they scratched the dot. To prove the birds scratched the dot because they recognized themselves in the mirror - and not because they were investigating what had been done to them - other magpies were marked with a black dot. Those birds didn't scratch.
• Selecting Holiday Gifts For the Golfer. By: Cambry Center lap 6 - Selecting Holiday Gifts For the Golfer. If you have a golfer on your gift list, selecting the right gift can be daunting. Golfers have very real opinions about what's right for them. The scratch golfer that plays a soft cover high spinning golf ball may be gracious about the 15 ball pack of Top-Flites, but will probably give them away to friend struggling with distance. Matching the gift to the golfer's preferences and skill level can be an art and a science, but we can help.
• Where Has All The Good News Gone? By: Knight Pierce Hirst - More and more professionals are moving to small towns. The good news is they're not having to move back in with their parents. These professionals are responding to Web-based recruitment campaigns from rural areas - campaigns that offer both good jobs and a better quality of life. In rural southwest Virginia the program's called "Return to Roots" and lists jobs in technology, engineering, education and health care - jobs provided by companies moving to rural areas to save money. Similar programs have been started in other states.
• Is Beauty Only Skin Deep? By: Knight Pierce Hirst - They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and when I read women's magazines, I behold beauty product ads on almost every other page. The creams, lotions and oils have various money-back guarantees - some are celebrity endorsed, some are supposedly newly revealed, European secrets and some are meant to be scientific breakthroughs. Although all of them are meant to get rid of fine lines, what women really want is a product that gets rid of unfine lines.
• Making Your Magic Performance Mysterious and Humorous By: Jay Sankey - All human knowledge take the form of interpretation. - Walter Benjamin As both a seasoned magician and stand-up comic, I have a relatively unique, first-hand experience of the perplexing relationship between the mysterious and the humorous. Sometimes, the apparently impossible can be very funny because a performance of strong magic can create the tension required for a big laugh. My favorite example of this is the audience member who bursts into laughter the moment you open your hand to show that a coin has disappeared.
• Is There A Specific Ocean? By: Maxine Clarke - Without doubt, one of the biggest gripes I have is the pronunciation of the word 'specific' as 'Pacific'. Geography may not be my strong point, but I'm pretty certain there is no Specific Ocean, so why the confusion when asking somebody to do something in a precise and clearly identified manner? Having worked as a professional writer for eight years, it is remarkable at how far this problem stretches.
• Isn't There A Pill To Prevent Gas Problems? By: Knight Pierce Hirst - Every time the price of gas goes up 1 cent a gallon it costs the U.S. Postal Service another $8 million for fuel. While the USPS waits for a breakthrough in automotive technology so it can increase its fleet of 45,000 alternative-fuel vehicles, the Postal Service has to find better ways to use - or not use - its 180,000 gas guzzlers. Eliminating left turns has improved fuel efficiency by 5-12%. Fuel efficiency has also been improved by having more letter carriers walk their routes, as well as use bicycles and subways.

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