Four Reasons Your Girlfriend Broke Up And How To Get Her Back

Reason Number 1 - The Man is not Attractive

A girl will break up with a guy because he is not attractive.

Attraction in this sense does not mean he is a "beautiful man." It means she does not have a desire to have sex with him. She thinks of him as a friend.

This happened to me a long time ago. I dated a girl and she didn't find me attractive. It made her feel really horrible. I was a nice guy and she couldn't figure out why she wasn't attracted to me. Finally, she broke up with me. It was a very good thing.

The Symptoms of this type of breakup: The girl doesn't seem interested in making out, there never was any good sex (if at all), there never was passion, and the couple was described more as 'friends' than anything else.

How would a guy fixes this? No contact for five years and the guy has to and become a big steaming pile of sexual attraction (If you don't know how to become more attractive, this is something that I teach). Then, if he happened to run into her, she would think he's an entirely different person and would want him again. The trick, make it long enough so she forgets all about him.

Likelihood? The guy should find another girl. It isn't happening. Girls may forget details about you but emotions stay around for a LONG time. The emotion of feeling "like a friend" will linger for a long time. She'll treat him "like a friend" even after not seeing him for many years.

Reason Number 2 - The man was not what she expected

She broke up because the guy was not what she expected. This happens very often. Usually a year into the relationship, the girl finds out that the guy has some issue that he has trouble dealing with. Examples include he wants to date other girls, he is boring, he hits her, or he has trouble with money. At first she would try to change him but will eventually she would give up.

The Symptoms of this type of breakup: They had passion and great sex. However, there was lots of fighting (with great makeup sex). She wanted to make him something else. One day she got sick of trying to change him. She decided "Forget it, he's impossible and I'm wasting my precious 20s and 30s with this jerk." All of the sudden she got cold. She quit caring, and just seems uninterested in the relationship. She started looking for other men to attract.

How would a guy fixes this? He Makes the changes she wanted. If she wanted to travel more with her, he should travel more with her. If she wanted her nights off, he should let her have the nights off. However, there is a catch. The guy has to be willing to make the change deep down in his heart. If he can demonstrate that he made the change (not just to make her happy, but deep down, he has to feel the change flowing through his veins) then she'll take him back in a second.

Example: A guy who doesn't want kids dated a girl who wanted kids really badly. At first the guy thought she was stupid and it resulted in fights while the girl tried to change the guy. After a month or so of fighting, the girl gave up. The sex may have continued, but not nearly as good as before. She knew the relationship was going to end, so she just enjoyed it while it lasted. Finally, she decided it was time to move on. She was getting old and men wouldn't be attracted to her forever. She broke up. The guy missed and loved his girl, but he never wanted kids. Then his brother had a child and he had to help raise the child. Turns out, the guy LOVED the child and wanted one of his own. The girl got wind of this and found out that he changed. She tried to get him back before another girl stole him.

Likelihood? Fairly, but for this to happen, the guy has to actually change rather than a BS "Anything you want babe."

Reason Number 3 - The guy didn't give the girl a relationship

Symptoms: the guy wanted to date more than one girl. The girl liked the guy very much and wanted an exclusive relationship with him.

NOTE ON POLYGAMY: People say that it is possible to have multiple girlfriends. It's not true. It is possible to have 2 "friends with benefits". It is possible to have 1 girlfriend and 3 "friends with benefits" (this is very difficult to maintain). It is NOT possible to have 2 girlfriends. For a healthy relationship, it has to be exclusive. I know, I have experience. I've had 3 girlfriends at one point in my life. It was not a healthy situation for me or the girls.

NOTE ON WHAT GIRLS WILL TELL MEN: If a guy told a girl that he wants multiple relationships, the girl probably told him she was fine with it. She's was full of BS. Not because she was lying, but because she didn't know herself. She thought she was okay with multiple relationship, but if she found another girls panties in the guy's dresser drawer, she would freak out. Her emotions would override all the BS she told the guy and would become super jealous. Relationships with this much jealousy are not healthy. Girls need the security of knowing their man is with her and her alone. The security makes her comfortable and will make her want to stay in a relationship.

TO MEN, NOTE ON RESPECT: If you want more than one girl, it tells the girl one thing. She doesn't please you. Imagine if you have the most amazing relationship with a girl and she tells you she wants to sleep with other men. What does that communicate to you? It communicates that you are not enough for the girl. It's actually a major insult to you. When you tell a girl that you want to sleep around with other girls, it's a major insult to her. It's a form of disrespect.

Symptoms: The relationship started out as an open relationship. The girl was happy with it. She may have slept around a bit and the guy probably slept around a bit. Eventually she stopped liking it (usually takes a month or two) and wanted to be exclusive. She asked if the guy had been with other girls. She communicated her annoyance with the guy being with other girls, she might have given an ultimatum. Eventually she gave up and decided to go after other men. The break up process was long and full of emotion.

How to Fix: The guy has to go after the girl and tell her he wants to be with only her. She's going to test him. She has to be sure that he wants to be with only her and won't cheat on her. This is because he has to feel like this girl is the only girl he wants to date. He has to know deep down in his heart that he wants only her. If he doesn't believe it himself, he'll fail the tests and it won't work.

Likelihood: If done properly, she'll always come back. She wanted you and her to be exclusive, and now it happens.

Reason Number 4 - She is bored of the relationship

Symptoms: Remember the spark at the beginning of the relationship, it is gone. It is dreary day in and day out. She tried to get the guy to go out and to do fun stuff, but he just wanted to sit on his ass at watch TV. Until she decided she couldn't help it anymore. She broke up and immediately went out and partied, traveled, went on adventures, etc.

The fix: The guy has to become fun again. The reason she left him is because he was boring. So, he needs to STOP BEING BORING. Eventually she'll see that he are no longer boring and will find him massively attractive again.

Likelihood: Not likely. Men who are boring tend to not change from being boring. Has a psychological temperament root cause. If he is a boring guy who likes boring things, he should find a boring girlfriend so they get along.

These just about cover the most common reasons. Truth is, most breakups are a VERY GOOD thing. Usually they happen for a VERY GOOD reason. My advice, figure out what that reason is and either solve it or move on.