Fost-adopt, Foster-to-adopt, Private Adoption, International, Gay Adoption? What's It All About?

As you begin to realize that adoption may be your best option for fulfilling your desire (and need) to be a parent, please don't forget the all-too-often-forgotten-and-overlooked option of foster-to-adoption. This article will briefly explain the differences, but please get more information to make your own decision. Whichever way you choose to go, you'll be providing a home for a child who is in desperate need of your love.

1. Private Adoption. A private adoption is set up through an adoption agency that is usually operated by a private, for profit business. You submit your family information and portfolio as well as a completed and approved home study, and the agency allows pregnant mothers to browse and choose a family for their child. Pros: children are infants and usually healthy at birth. Cons: placement can take a long time since the birth mother has to choose you; very expensive; no post-adoption support.

2. International Adoption, or adopting a child from a different country from your own. Pros: usually less expensive than private adoption; you get to learn about your adopted child's culture. Cons: still very expensive, in the $8000 - $30000 range; children often have neglect issues which result in difficult behaviors; language barriers; no post adoption support.

3. Foster to Adopt through Social Services Agencies. Fost-adopt programs require you to be registered as a foster parent first. Usually kids in the social services system are placed in a foster home setting while their parents try to work out their own situations and get their children back. But because of the many challenging situations life can place us in, some parents can't get their lives worked out and their children must be placed up for adoption. In these cases, it's usually the foster-to-adopt parents who adopt the children. Pros: inexpensive - free home study, free health insurance for the children, a state subsidy payment is often available, and even the adoption court fees can often be reimbursed; excellent post adoption support including therapy for the child, support meetings, and a collection of respite providers; all ages of children are available, even infants. Cons: children often have emotional trauma, especially the older children, and some infants may be born with drugs in their systems; you take an emotional risk because the child may return home to the birth family before you are able to adopt them, depending on the situation.

Adoption is about matching a family who is ready and willing to love a child with a child in need of a home.

Contact your local social services or human services department to find out more information about adoption through foster care, and don't rule this out before you get more information. I have three adopted boys through a SS agency, and I know plenty of parents with perfectly healthy children who were placed at birth or within the first month. Whichever way you choose to go, be prepared for a long journey.