Foolproof Guest Lists - Keep Your Friends Close And Your Invites Closer

Wedding invites never seem like a daunting task at the planning stage. Bridezilla has taken over and is confident she will be able to deal with telling those unlucky acquaintances that they've just not made the cut. According to a recent survey, the average wedding has 169 guests, and it's easy to trick yourself into believing it will work itself out, but this may be the hardest decision of the whole process. Everyone will be expecting an invite to your sun-kissed San Diego wedding once they hear about it.
Take your Facebook page. For most, this tool is simply to keep track of those you really care about. Statistics compiled by the site on a rolling basis suggest that the average user has 130 friends. This isn't even taking into account Uncle Harry in Oceanside who thinks the world wide web has something to do with insects, or Aunt Nora from Palm Springs who last used technology when the batteries ran out in her antique timepiece. The fact of the matter is that you will need to disappoint people you care about no matter which venue you both eventually decide on.

What"s the first and most important thing to remember when planning the guest list? Start early! You want to avoid the regret of forgetting someone just because they slipped your mind at the last minute. Utilize all your social lists, including online networks, your phone book and your email mailing lists. Think about the three main groups; family, friends and co-workers. A handy tip is to write a mock-up of who you can think of, separating these into those three groups, and seeing if you can spot any gaps. One rule wedding-planners like to suggest is all-or-nothing for work colleagues, with the exception of your boss who it may be beneficial to invite regardless of your rocky relationship. Chances are they will far too busy to attend, but it always something to consider if you wish to stay in their good books.

So what are the initial steps? As with almost everything on your to-do list, you will need to consult your other half. They will also have preferences, and these will need to be taken into account as they may already have ideas which you wouldn't even think to consider. Question yourselves about who really needs to be witness to the wedding and who would be just as happy congratulating you after the big day. The initial discussion stage is also the right time to lay down the ground rules of who can't come. That stunning blonde they dated in 2005 might still be a good friend, but do you really need that seat already being occupied if it could be given to someone who you both want there? The cost is also a great foundation to start from. If you're working to a smaller budget and realize the limitations of this from the beginning, you feel much less guilty striking names from the list.

Another tip which will lighten your load is moderating how loudly you broadcast the wedding. Keeping things on the down-low might just save you from that awkward conversation with that lady you chat to at the bus stop who has already purchased her hat.

So the budget has now been set, the venue decided upon and you and your significant other have agreed that your estranged Auntie Kath's children are far too rowdy to be anywhere near your special day. Now comes the game of mathematics; subtracting unwanted guests, dividing invites out and adding an allowance for the people you will almost certainly forget. The most democratic idea is to split the invites down the middle regardless of family size and personal preferences as it means you both get a fair shot at who you want to invite, and you can still bargain for the left-over seats later. Another tactic is to write down all the people you would consider immediate family and good friends, and compare numbers. Common sense suggests that you may need a larger percentage of the invites for your six sisters and thirteen nieces and nephews if he's resorted to using his leftover allowance on Bill, the mailman from work. Work on a high and a low priority list. Send out the invites early and use the second list to fill the gaps. As a rule, up to 20% of your high-priority list will send regrets.

Emotions will undoubtedly be rife at this point in the wedding arrangements, especially as they day looms closer and you begin to feel the pressure of getting it all done in time. Nonetheless, resist giving in to the pesky in-laws-to-be who seem hell-bent on taking up half of the hall. Keep in mind that the day is about you and the commitment you are making, and you have the deciding vote on who gets to witness this. The Father of the Bride may well be paying, and a little discretion thus needed, but it is your wedding day and you need to feel as comfortable as possible as you walk up the aisle.