First Date Jitters

Millions of people go on first dates every day and for the most part, each and every one of them experiences some sort of nervous feelings before taking that step out of the front door. Getting to know a person that you find romantically interesting can be quite nerve-racking for many reasons; what to say, how to act and what to wear are often the foremost questions in a persons mind. The final result of this personal interrogation is often the basic idea that the person feels that they are not good enough to impress their date. While confidence plays an enormous part in preparing for your first date, even those with the healthiest of personal feelings often experience a few jitters. Following a few simple steps before meeting up with that potentially romantic figure may just help you to have a wonderful, successful and comfortable first date:
How Did You Meet: As there are many ways two people can meet prior to going out on an official date there can be many details which should be reviewed about how the date was set up In the first place:
Blind Date: Often this kind of date is set up through a friend and therein lies your method of finding information. Asking a few simple questions about the person you are going to meet, (above and beyond the standard inquiries,) can be of great help to you later on. Find out about what topics will be of great interest to your date and yourself; favorite foods, colors and music can all be of great help in choosing anything from flowers to restaurant. Knowing ahead of time if there are any particularly touchy subjects that you should stay away from until you better know each other can also help a great deal in making the date a successful one.
Online Dating: Much a like a blind date, when meeting for the first time, in real life, it is often helpful to know a few details about your date. Making use of online dating sites differs from more traditional methods of dating in that you often already know a great deal about each other and, in many cases, already feel close enough to one another that many of the awkward feelings have already melted away. Knowing about the person you are about to meet may not alleviate all fears however and you may still find that you have a few reservations about the date. Often it helps to share your concerns with your date, as you have already been communicating online for some time and will both be experiencing many of the same feelings.
Unknown History: For those who have set up a date from methods such as: obtaining a phone number at a social gathering, or simply asked a person, that they found attractive, if they would like to go out; very little information is known about the date and this can create a very tense atmosphere. Under these circumstances the person who did the asking often feels the most pressure to make the date a pleasant experience. To prepare for such a date it is often good to keep in mind that the person accepted, for whatever reason and that you have no need to undermine yourself by trying to determine why. Allow yourself to be open and attentive as the beginning of your date will be a learning experience and a chance to find out what the two of you have in common.
Appearance:
Casual: If you have an opportunity to find out what kind of social atmosphere you will be in during your date this can often be a good guideline for what to wear. What you wear and how you wear it, are very important details as this will say a great deal about what kind of person you are before you have had a chance to speak. While some people care little for clothing styles or labels, most people will notice if a person dresses in a striking manor: whether good or bad. Dressing in extremes is often a good way to make a statement, but not usually recommended unless you know exactly what kind of style your date will find pleasing. If you are uncertain about what to wear keeping your style in the formal-casual to casual range is a fairly safe bet. Remember that while under dressing might repulse your date, over dressing can make a person uncomfortable about their own appearance. If you have the opportunity to find out what style your date will be dressing in this can also be an excellent way to assure that you both feel good about your attire.
Formal: If you find that your first date will be in a more formal setting it is of the utmost importance that you dress to fit your surroundings. Often under these circumstances it will not be difficult to determine what kind of style is expected, though again, if you can speak with your date beforehand about dressing up, do so, as it will help you both be at ease. Remember that in a more formal setting there will be certain expectations about your mannerisms, as well as appearance: if you need to brush up on your more formal social skills make sure to allow yourself time before the date takes place.
Exotic: If attending a costume party or themed social gathering in which you will be expected to dress in a more exotic style be sure of exactly what style of clothing others will be wearing, (including your date.) Often women enjoy coordinating costumes with their partners for costume parties and as a bonus; this will let other potential suitors know that you are together and that they should take their intentions elsewhere.
What to Talk About:
Unknown Territory: Brushing up on your current events, especially local topics can help in the beginning of conversations in which you are uncertain of how to proceed. Remember to ask your date about their work; interests and life-goals as this will show that you have an interest in what makes them special. If you are particularly worried about the conversation, it can be helpful to take your date to a more socially active environment; dancing, concerts, movies or sporting events are good locations to keep your date amused without a great deal of pressure to engage in conversation. Dont be discouraged if at first you find that you are each at a loss for words, many people feel nervous on their first date and it may take some time to feel comfortable. If after attending an event you feel better prepared for discussion, ask your date if they would like to go out for drinks or food so that you can recap on the days, or evenings, events.
Newly Romantic: For those who have entered into the dating world with a person they have known for some time, but perhaps have only recently become romantically involved with, many of the same nervous moments can manifest themselves on a first date. Discussing topics that are familiar to both of you can be a wonderful way to melt the ice, but some find that this can steer feelings away from the romantic. Though in cases where you have known the person for some time it may be difficult to produce new aspects of your personality, try to show your date the side of yourself that they are less familiar with. Making this transition is often accompanied by uncomfortable bouts of silence and perhaps a few nervous giggles; try to keep in mind that most of the successful relationships amongst couples are built upon friendships and that despite a few bumps in the beginning most turn out well in the end.
From Online to In Person: Despite the many chats and emails, perhaps phone calls and web camera sessions, you may have shared meeting your date in person for the first time can still be just as scary as with more traditional methods of dating. You will more than likely have an abundance of subjects to choose from as you have already shared many conversations, but the atmosphere will be quite different and for this reason, a few adjustments might need to be made. Keep in mind any special details about past conversations you may have had, often people make references to ideas that they would like to experience in person, before that time takes place. Also remember that a great many people tend to be a bit more bold online, especially with sexual ideas, and that it might take a little time before either of you are ready to discuss those topics in person, let alone act upon them. In some cases people find that they feel comfortable right away; but for others who feel a little shy, now that there are no pixels between you and your date, just remember that you made a connection and that it is still present, even if a little time is needed for it to become apparent in person.
From blind dates, to old friends and from instant connection, to those that take more time; first dates tend to rattle most of those who experience them. Remember to keep calm; be confidant and know that the person on the other side of you is most likely experiencing the very same nervous feeling that you are. It may take some time to get to know your date before you feel comfortable, but in the end, whether the person is the right or wrong one, you will be laughing about your fears and concerns in the end.