When your mate heads out the door for a night out with his or her friends, do you get an uneasy feeling in your stomach? This is a fairly new habit for your partner and it seems to be happening more often and the hours out are getting longer and longer. This is unthinkable but you have to ask "Is my spouse cheating on me?".
This is something that no one, especially if you have children, wants to deal with, a cheating mate. It is a threat to the family and financial security in a period of time that is scary at best for families and finances. "How dare my spouse do this to our family and me?" is all you can think about.
Get Some Facts On What Is Going On
When you are under the stress of trying to find out if your mate is cheating on you, it is easy to be very emotional and strike out at them. An understandable and normal reaction. Possibly your spouse is having sex with someone else and may be falling in love with their lover.
If you can, before you confront your mate, stow the emotions and systematically discover proof about their affair. It is possible that you are wrong and your spouse isn't cheating.
Look for signs of cheating like the following:
- Does your spouse act strangely different toward you lately? Is he or she either overly attentive to you (guilt) or dismissive or openly hostile to you looking for any little thing to start a fight.
- Is he or she getting very private with telephone conversations, not wanting you to hear what is being said and actually walking out of the room when you enter?
- Does your spouse stay up late at night on the computer and recently set up a separate, password protected log in instead of the log in that you shared for a long time?
- Has your mate become obsessive over their appearance and is on a crash diet?
- Do you notice extra amounts of money being withdrawn from your joint bank account or worse yet does your spouse try to intercept the bank or credit card statements so that you can't see them?
- Have you recently found a complete change of clothes and grooming essentials including deodorant and hair care products in the trunk of your car?
These signs may be telling that you have a cheater on your hands.
What Can I Do About It?
Here is the part that can get dicey. If you find that your mate is unfaithful and it is either a casual fling or not serious at all, do you want a divorce or do you want to try to forgive, work it out and mend your marriage? Think about these options that you have.
- Hire a private investigator. You would probably only do this if you are going the divorce route as this can be quite expensive. You will also want to hire a divorce attorney, can be expensive.
- If you want to try and save your marriage and you think that you can, you will need to get the facts, confront your mate and see if he or she wants to try to save the marriage. In which case you will probably need a good marriage counselor to find out what is wrong with the marriage as most unfaithfulness is caused by dissatisfaction with something in the marriage.
This quick overview of a situation that could be potentially serious and devastating for your family and you should be taken seriously. If you can, try to approach this in a measured manner as the future and well being of both you and your family may depend on it.
