Fail Your Way To Success

Sometimes to set us free from their limiting effect we need to reframe our past problems, failures or mistakes. Otherwise we risk loading up on stress and burnout.

It is possible to change the effect they have on our future by turning them into useful lessons that give you insights about yourself.

I have come across very successful people who have the habit of reviewing their life every six months or so. A while ago I met a very successful entrepreneur who keeps a note book he's called 'Life's Lessons.'

In this he writes each lesson he's learnt from his setbacks and obstacles. The positive outcome he gets from doing this is twofold. Firstly he is able to 'lay to rest' the event and secondly he gets to reframe the experience as a lesson so that he mentally moves on from viewing people or events in the past as sources of stress and disappointment.

Get Curious
Although it's hard to believe at the time in every challenging and stressful situation lies a pearl of wisdom waiting for you. You only have to ask the right question.

It may only become evident to you days or weeks after the event.

But you will notice the positive effect this change of viewpoint will have on your mind and your life. Imagine what would the areas of your life that you regard as problems now be like if you viewed them with a sense of curiosity? Try it now - ask yourself; 'What can I learn from this situation or problem?'

Doing this kind of questioning directs your mind. We are all conditioned to answer questions so you may as well make those questions do good work for you.

To make my point, go back to a problem you feel you have, then once it's on your mind, ask yourself what you typically ask. For instance, 'How can I make this problem go away? 'Why can't I get it right?' or 'Why does that person keep asking me for this?'

Now just notice what your mind sets about doing. In trying to look for the answer it brings up reasons as to why this is a problem. Maybe in the form of images, or perhaps memories of similar times or situations. Then you'll experience the feelings that go with this problem state. So on it goes, you feel gloomy and with no sense of how to create a solution.

The Power of Questions
You may have heard of the great Anthony Robbins and he would say that the above is a gift for you to use and learn from.

He has developed a series of questions designed to direct your mind in the right direction to bring solutions or a useful sense of learning.

He calls them the Problems Questions and here they are:

What is right/great about this problem/day?
What is not perfect yet?
What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
What am I willing to not do to make it the way I want it?
How can I enjoy doing the things necessary to make it the way I want it?

If you really apply yourself to the task of asking these questions around a problem or bad day you will find your mind has to go in a different direction to answer them.

When I first did this exercise I found it very difficult and put up every reason under the sun as why I couldn't do them and why I wouldn't do them.

I was persuaded to persevere, I took this resistance as a sign that my mind was really stuck in a pattern of negative thinking and so was resisting this new way of working.

So if the same happens to you look at it as being a bit like aerobics for the mind. At first you may feel the strain, but in a comparatively short time you will feel the benefits and the pain will fade.