Facebook Has Become A Virtual Marriage Killer

Facebook has become a worldwide trend that has grown in interest & popularity at record rates. Originally Facebook was primarily used by college students before it was available to the general public. What was once water-cooler conversation is now an integral part of business growth and social networking. Today it is such an important part of so many people's lives that people virtually post every move they make not to mention the new Mobile Upload feature which allows people to instantly upload photos from their cellular telephone rather than having to wait until they arrived home and upload the pictures from their computer.

Although there are positives of Facebook there is also a much darker side of Facebook that many people are learning about the hard way; Facebook has become a marriage killer.

Facebook has suddenly made the world a whole lot smaller. Prior to Facebook, when people lost touch with each other it was difficult to re-establish relationships because of many reasons not to mention awkwardness. Facebook allows people the voyeuristic ability to re-connect and literally see into someone's life. Quite often people have an inner need to know what people they know or once knew are doing; for reasons of simple curiosity, loneliness, or even the need to "live in the past" because of not being happy with the life they are currently living. Although most do not, some individuals might have pre-meditated intent to engage in affairs via rekindling relationships with past girlfriends/boyfriends or high-school crushes.

Some people who are in fairly healthy marriages and who otherwise would not have a propensity to cheat find themselves caught in the web of Facebook before they actually realize the irreparable damage that they have caused. Sure, the argument would be that if a marriage is healthy then one should never cheat. However there is no such thing as a perfect marriage and if the timing and circumstances are such that one crosses that path he/she could easily find themselves on a slippery slope. Absolutely there are plenty of people who are married that reconnect with people from their past and never cheat but there are many that do too.

Most commonly someone might search an ex-boyfriend or someone whom they had a crush on in school and once they locate that individual a "friend request" is sent. Most often the person will accept the friend request and it is at that point when the gate is opened. One of the first things that happen from there is they will look for any pictures that their new "friend" has posted. Emotions and memories will begin to resurface causing them to begin thinking about that individual throughout the day. Not long after that point communication will commence; one party will send a message to the other party and guaranteed a reply will follow.

As soon as dialog is established it can take the wrong turn from there if one is not careful. Usually one party will make a complimented statement with the intent to flatter. Before they know it they begin to look forward to checking their messages and replying verging on addictive behavior. What had started as innocent conversation has turned into full fledged flirtation and cheating is on the horizon. The reason why many people do not stop at this juncture is because they are in a state of denial in which they are still trying to convince themselves that there is nothing wrong because they are simply talking to an ex-friend and "everyone does it". Within a few weeks of conversation the situation has turned into an emotional affair; one of which they begin to converse about personal issues, likes & dislikes, and sometimes divulge their unhappiness with their marriage; it is at that very moment that the relationship goes into the next level which is coordinating a rendezvous.

Married individuals who have re-connected with someone of interest from their past and discuss actually meeting somewhere are still in a state of denial at this stage. They usually set up a "meeting", not a date, in which they convince themselves that there is nothing wrong with "getting a cup of coffee". The individuals go out of their way to dress and look their best for the meeting so they can impress the other person and once they meet the physical affair is inevitable. Just the mere thought of the person becomes consuming and intense. Conversation will usually intensify and the meetings will grow in regularity. The new found attention and compliments make them feel good keeping them coming back for more; it is addictive and the relationship is suddenly passion filled. At this stage they couldn't even stop if they wanted to and it is at this point in time when most people say to themselves "what am I doing?" but by then it is too late; the relationship has taken a life of its own.

It is much easier for someone to engage in an affair if they can justify it in their mind therefore they begin to find fault with the marriage and their spouse; unsurprisingly the flaws of the marriage are suddenly exacerbated and more noticeable. If someone can blame the problems of their marriage on their spouse then they can explore the new affair with no remorse or guilt.

Chances are that you or maybe someone you know has been involved in a questionable situation as it pertains to Facebook. Education is the first step of avoiding possible problems that you might later come to regret. Therefore if you are having marriage problems then you need to decide if your marriage is worth salvaging. If your answer is in the affirmative then you need to take steps at working out the problems even if it requires marriage counseling. Marriages are never perfect and can be very cyclical; you can go through periods of time when things seem wonderful then a short while later you can't envision another day together.

A marriage is something that needs to be constantly worked on otherwise you will encounter more rough times than good times. Facebook or other means is not the answer; most affairs never survive and those involved usually live to regret the affair but by that time it is too late because you have lost everything as you once knew it. Don't let Facebook kill your marriage; think twice before you send your next "Friend Request".