Does The Bipolar Brain Always Think In Black-n-white?

With extreme mood swings, it's easy to see things as either black or white with nothing in between. However learning to see "gray" can be very beneficial on a number of fronts. But first, how do you know if you are a black-n-white thinker? One way that could indicate tendencies toward that type of thinking is how you set the temperature in your car. If you're cold, do you turn it all the way to hot only to find that it's too hot so you turn it all the way to cold only to get too cold and turn it back again? There is an in between on those dials. You can be partly cool or partly warm instead of just cold and hot.

So why is "gray" thinking beneficial? Let's take relationships first. People don't usually unconditionally hate you or love you. Some families are fortunate in that there is unconditional love expressed in the home, but that's often not the case. So if your acquaintances don't hate you or love you, what do they feel for you? Mostly "gray". Depending on how close you are, they may just tolerate you or they may like you a lot. Those in between feelings even with friends are okay. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. This also gets into negotiation and being a giver and a taker. We all need things from others which makes us takers, but we also need to be givers so that we contribute to a relationship. If it's always "My way or the highway," you may find yourself very lonely. You can also find yourself exhausted if you are in constant "giving" mode too. Moms are especially bad at that. You do need to take care of yourself, and some times that means saying "No". Strive for a good balance of giving and taking and your relationships will flourish.

Education can be another area impacted by black-n-white thinking. We have an A+ to F grading system or a point system where 4.0 is as high as you can rank here in the US. However, if your thinking is that I'm worth nothing unless I get that A+ or 4.0, then that is very unhealthy. Also, if you don't have a high school or college degree, it does not make you less of a person. My brother doesn't have a college degree, but he is a fine upstanding citizen and very active in his church. I have a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology, but that does not make me better or worse than my brother. It's all in how you use your skills, abilities, and talents that matter, not whether or not you got the A+ or even the degree.

Finances can also be impacted by black-n-white, all-or-nothing thinking. If you are on the "I have to have everything I want, when I want it" extreme, you will be spending your way into the poor house. If you are on the "I can't have anything I want" extreme, you will be very unhappy. Middle ground can be good. A good tool for getting to middle ground is a budget. There are plenty of sources for making a budget so I won't go into that here, but I highly recommend using one.

I hope you gained some useful insights, and I wish you the best in all your pursuits.

Author: Cassandra L. Good, MA