Do You Have Resistance To Dating?

You are single and looking, you know you want to be in a committed relationship, yet the idea of dating makes you want to crawl under your blankets and come up with thousands of excuses why you're not ready to see anybody right now. Sounds familiar? The truth is, every relationship has to start with dating and you know it. But you still don't want to do it. Learn how you can overcome this fear and put yourself out there no matter what.

I often hear people say "I don't want to date, I just want to get into a relationship." If you can relate to this statement, believe me, you are not alone. Unless there is a guarantee that you will like this person you're about to meet and have an amazing chemistry together, dating can be quite scary for many people. You're about to meet with someone you know very little about and your job is to get to know this person and you have no idea what to expect. Even if you are REALLY attracted to this person, fears can come up. As much as the intensity of sexual attraction and chemistry is known to beat most fears, let me remind you, you still don't know this person. Plus, for someone who has been crushed and burned in the past, hormonal outbursts can be just another warning sign to watch out and stay away.

Let me ask you a question. What are your reasons to be in a relationship? Are you looking for chemistry, romance, a way to relieve your loneliness or have your friends leave you alone? The truth is, unfortunately as long as those are your motivators to be in a relationship you will keep feeling like you're not ready and dating will continue to feel like a drag to you. However, if you goal is to share your love and your life with someone as well as learn more about yourself and grow emotionally and spiritually, dating can be yet another opportunity.

When you go out there not only you are presented with a chance to get to know another person, you will also face challenges of getting to know yourself better and become the best you can be. Why not go out on a date with this attitude? With a different mindset you can turn your fear into curiosity. It is a natural human experience that brings people together. You have no idea what your date will turn out to be, but aren't you curious? I invite you to listen and tune into your curiosity and go out on the date from this open place. Not only will it make it easier for you to go out, it will make you more attractive to your date.

What if the date turns out awkward? I know many people have had bad dates in the past. Let's say the worst thing you fear of happening does happen. Wouldn't that be an opportunity for you to do your best so that later on you can feel proud for doing what was in your highest good? Think about that last unsuccessful date you've had. What exactly bothers you about it the most? Was it something your date did or was it something you did that you wish you would have done differently? I can almost guarantee it was the second one. If you had a chance to do something differently, what would you do? So, in the worst case scenario, if your unpleasant past does repeat, why not take this chance to grow and do the right thing this time. What a great opportunity to do so!

Inability to set boundaries in an honest powerful and authentic way happens to be the number one reason why people are resistant to dating. Part of what I teach in my personal empowerment program is how to set boundaries with confidence in any situation. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself to clear your blocks to healthy and happy relationships.


Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai