Do Children Deserve Respect?

Beginning very early, infants and children want and need our approval. It is imperative that our children know they are loved and cherished. Without this approval and care, how are children expected to care for themselves, or others? A child who receives respect from adults tends to learn respect, not only for themselves but also for other people. These are values which we share and pass on to our children.

It is very difficult to trust others if you do not trust yourself. In order to help children learn to trust others, we must help them to learn to trust themselves. As a parent, this is where constant support and reassurance contributes to these values.

It is the very early years where we can most greatly impact how children learn to trust and respect others by teaching them how to trust us. You CANNOT spoil a baby! It is imperative that an infants' needs are met in order to ensure a sense of safety, security and confidence now and later in life.

There are some psychologists who believe that, from the moment they are born, we, by our nature, treat children with disrespect. Their theory is by doing so; we may even reduce the potential intelligence of the developing child. Whether this theory is valid or not, there is often a correlation seen in those children who are treated with a lack of respect. These children may lack respect for themselves, have a feeling of less self-worth, less self-trust and treat others with disrespect.

In order to empower our children with positive self confidence, starting with simple day-to-day implementation is best. Find ways to encourage your child and meet their needs. Think of their way of looking at the world, absorbing information and how you can meet where they are in the moment.

One activity that provides appropriate stimulation, interaction, trust and respect is infant massage. You can strengthen your bond of trust through the use of nurturing touch. Infant Massage presents enormous opportunities and benefits for both you and your child. These simple loving actions of sharing your connection through nurturing touch create impacts that last a lifetime.

Every massage session starts with asking your baby's permission to provide massage. This shows respect for your baby as a person. Even though many young babies cannot verbally respond with a resounding "yes or no", your asking permission will make you more sensitive to baby's mood, and help you to recognize if they are ready for this type of nurturing interaction. Before you start the massage, relax and begin to warm your hands. While warming your hands and making eye contact, you should ask verbally aloud, "May I give you a massage?" Then take a moment and carefully begin to watch your child for communication cues indicating if it is okay to proceed with the nurturing touch session.

Common cues that indicate permission has been granted are seen when an infant:

- Has become still (stops moving)

- Has smooth movements of arms and legs

- Is smiling and their face is happy and bright

- Is babbling, cooing and/or talking

- Has wide open eyes

- Has raised eyebrows and is raising their head

- Is looking toward you and is gazing into your eyes

- Has an open-mouth and may be making tongue thrusts (like licking lips)

- Is putting their hands in their mouth and grasping for things, such as reaching for you

- Is snuggling with you

- Demonstrates bursts of playful wiggles

These same cues help you, as the caregiver, to know when your infant is ready for stimulation and interaction, whether through massage, or other playful time together. By engaging in appropriate nurturing interaction, at the infant's pace, you are using caring, nurturing and respect to improve our child's overall healthy development and growth.


Copyright (c) 2009 Liddle Kidz Foundation Infant and Children's Pediatric Massage