Divorce 101: Should You Keep The House?

In many ways, the home that you and your spouse have bought together is a symbol of your marriage as well as the future you had planned together. In a much more practical way, it is also usually the biggest and most important asset in your relationship. While many people in Washington State going through a divorce ask, "Can I keep the house?" the real question is, "Should I keep the house?"

There are many good reasons to keep the marital home. Some believe that allowing your children to stay in their home and continue to attend the same school minimizes the possible trauma of a divorce. In addition, many people feel a deep emotional connection to the home they have spent so many years in. Finally, it could be a poor financial decision to keep your home, especially if the value of your property has been affected by the recent recession and trouble in the housing market.

On the other hand, many divorce experts believe that too often a spouse -usually the wife or the spouse with physical custody of the children - will attempt to keep the marital home when it is not the best decision. It can be hard to manage a home that was previously run by two people and possibly by two incomes, especially if your child support or spousal support payments aren't enough to pay the regular expenses of the home. In addition, by asking for the home in the divorce, you very well may have to pay for your spouse's share of the equity in the home.

Here are a few questions to ask when considering whether or not to stay in the marital home after a divorce:

• What are the current monthly costs of keeping your home? Be sure to factor in not just the mortgage check, but also taxes, insurance, utility bills, upkeep costs, and maintenance. Also realize that you want to keep your home without become "house poor." If all of your funds are going into your house, you won't have enough left to support your family in other ways.

• What is your home worth? If you have owned your home for even a few years, chances are that your home is not worth what you paid for it. It could be worth significantly more, or it could have been hit hard by the housing market crash. Deciding to keep the house will depend largely on whether you could make money by selling it or whether you have an underwater mortgage.

• How much would you have to pay to keep the home? Based on the market value of the home and how much you have paid off on the mortgage, you can figure out how much you would have to give your spouse in order to keep the home. You could lose leverage in other asset-grabs or be forced to offer concessions you wouldn't other be making to keep the home.

• What will your income be after the divorce? Take a long, frank look at your potential earnings, counting your work income and any additional money from child support or alimony. Be sure to subtract for expenses like car payments, student loans, and credit card bills. Now compare that number to the cost of keeping your current home.

• What will be best for my children? While some people think that moving in the months after a divorce is one too many big changes for kids at once, others believe that many kids are resilient and can adapt to change. Consider the personalities and ages of your own children and decide how important staying in the home is. Can you afford another house in the same school district? Would spending the money to continue to reside in your existing house put you in a monetary burden that would reduce your family's overall quality of life? Would you have to re-locate towns or states altogether?

• Will staying in your home be a comfort, or will it hold you back? Do not fully discount your emotions when making this decision. If your home means a great deal to you, that should indeed be a factor in whether to stay or go. But be self-aware: do you want to keep the home because you are holding on to the idea of your old married life? Consider that not keeping the home could help you with your fresh start.

Just like so many aspects of divorce in Washington State, the decision to stay in your marital home varies depending on the unique circumstances of each case: what might be the right choice for one family could be the wrong choice for another family. If you live in the Seattle area you many need the family law advice, only a Seattle divorce attorney can provide.