Denial In It's Various Guises

Denial, they say, is "not just a river in Egypt." Denial is a strange beast. It is on the cycle of change (or, rather, just off it), as "pre-contemplation." That time when you are not thinking about change because you don't need to.
You are a 'happy user'. Other people are starting to suggest that you have a problem. Then denial raises it's ugly head and starts to show its various faces.

1. Avoidance

Avoidance is saying "I don't think about it. I don't talk about it. Whenever the small inner voice starts it's prompting, I submerge it, drowned under more drink, more sex, or with any other distraction.
Avoidance is not going there, saying, "What I don't know can't hurt me."

2. What Problem?

When suggesting that an addict might have a problem, brings out a show of more needles than you would see on a cornered porcupine, you know you've pressed a button. The response is a puffed up "What problem? I don't have a problem."

He may feel that his righteous indignation has won the day. He has managed to fend off another attack on his character, but the still small voice inside starts to niggle his conscience again.

3. Minimizing

When you cannot convince yourself that you are not in denial, then it's best to minimise the problem. You may say, "It's not that bad, it's such a small thing. It was a problem last month but now I've got control of it. If I put my mind to it, I can stop whenever I want to."

4. Rationalizing

"If I can explain the causes of it, I won't need to sort out the problem. When I get down to the root cause, it will be alright. It's due to the stress I'm under at work, and that's putting pressure on the marriage. It's how my personality is, It's the way I deal with stress - I can live with it."

5. Blaming (Projection)

"It's not my fault. If you had been what I have been through, then you would drink. How can I take responsibility for my drinking when it's not my fault."

6. Comparing

"There are plenty of people with a far more serious problem than me. For example, there's so and so who's marriage has just broken up. Compared to him, I don't have a problem. I don't need to get help."

7. Manipulating

"If other people want to help me, that's their business. I'll just let them do it. If it fails, it's not my responsibility. I can blame them. They are the one's who will feel bad. If anybody else wants me to change when I am not ready, my subsequent lapse will be their fault."

8. Feeling Better

This happens during the first or second week of treatment. Ten days without the symptoms of the problem. Like a revelation it comes. "I'm cured. I don't need this treatment. I've never felt better in my life. All the drugs are behind me."

9. Compensation

"I cannot be acting or behaving the way you say because I always act the opposite".

10. Justification

"I did it because it was the right thing to do at the time. I didn't think it would lead to anything".

Extended denial can affect a person physically, mentally and spiritually. It can lead to a state of hopelessness. Hopelessness is itself, another aspect of denial. It denies that we have the ability to change. It means that there is no point in carrying on. It is not even worth anybody trying to help us it would be a waste of their time.

Knowing that you have a problem, does not automatically make bad news into good news. It takes a while for it to sink in. Acceptance does not come easy. It is considered that Denial is, paradoxically, part of the process of recovery. For some, the road to recovery means getting to a place of brokenness, and Denial is often the first step.

Knowing that you have a problem, does not automatically make bad news into good news. It takes a while for it to sink in. Acceptance does not come easy. It is considered that Denial is, paradoxically, part of the process of recovery.

For some, the road to recovery means getting to a place of brokenness, and Denial is often the first step.