Dealing With Your Biggest Regret

Everyone has one, their Biggest Regret. It could be anything from dumping that girl that was perfect for you to selling the car that got you through your high school and college years because you thought it would be cheaper than fixing it up. It could even be some small thing that you feel guilty about even though, in all honesty, it shouldn't be that big a deal. For example, maybe you sucker punched a kid in a playground fight, or you once shoplifted a candy bar and never got caught.

It's funny how the conscience works, how feelings of guilt and remorse affect us. We all deal with it, because at our core, we're all made up of more or less the same parts, psychologically speaking. Whatever the reasons for your regret, whether you're experiencing feelings of guilt or feelings of loss, or just wondering what could have been, the method for dealing with regret always comes down to a few basic steps...

Think About It

Don't dwell on it, rather, think it through logically. That girl you dumped ten years ago, is she happy today? Are you happy today? What really might have happened had you stayed together? Did you break up for the right reasons? That boy you sucker punched on the playground, do you think he's still upset about it? Did it really have any major, adverse long term effects for either of you? Before you take any steps forward, you have to consider whether or not your biggest regret is worth rectifying, and if it can be rectified in the first place.

In other words, don't sit around beating yourself up about things that you cannot change. This is doubly true when it's, honestly, nothing to beat yourself up about in the first place.

Do Something About It

Not all regrets are rectifiable. Obviously, if you junked your favorite car when you were younger... Well, it's been recycled back into metal by now. On the other hand, certain regrets are very easy, and very necessary to rectify. If, for example, you and your father haven't talked for years, then stop regretting the argument or incident that put you on bad terms with him, and just give him a call. Time heals all wounds, and if something was your fault, you're probably going to be regretting it for a lot longer than the other person remains upset about it. If you can do something about it, then do it. Then forgive yourself and move on.

Learn From It

This one is really the most important step. Once something is done, it's done. If you feel guilty, if you wish you'd made a different decision than the one you made, well, the fact is that... Nine times out of ten, there's not much you can do about it. This is part of life, it's what makes us better people in the long run. We learn what works and what doesn't work, we grow out of our impulsive, stubborn younger selves into more pragmatic, thoughtful, considerate adults. When you can do something to rectify the mistakes you've made in the past, then by all means, do something. If you can't, then you need to learn how to forgive yourself, and then grow from the experience, learn from your mistakes and move on.